GKTRFC: Meet the men’s GKT Rugby Team aiming high at Macadam 2017
A full tour of the Guy’s Hospital Rugby Macadam Squad is at your service
Sunnii-Elle Peifer-StaffordAh Macadam, the time of year where the biggest rivalry since Tupac vs Biggie, Real vs Barca and Mide Ololade vs his chronic lack of game/chat/athleticism [delete as appropriate] comes to the fore.
The pressure’s been building for both sides of the university and in an attempt to defuse the palpable tension comes this “light-hearted introduction to Guy’s Hospital Rugby Club” (Chris Kamara – Sky Sports News).
Freddie Green
Position: Prop
Course: Medicine
Year: 3rd
Pubs forced to close down after he cleaned out their quiz machine:
A) 1 B) 2 C) 3 D) This isn’t funny
Number of chip and chases attempted on Wednesday: 3
Ben Ridley (VC)
Position: Hooker
Course: Medicine
Year: Intercalating
Team talk style: See film – “The King’s Speech”
Detrusor control: He financed the CEO of Tena Man’s holiday home
Calum Luke
Position: Prop/Utility Back
Course: Medicine
Year: Intercalating
Relationship with the Guy’s Bar bouncers: Symbiotic*
GHRFC Media Involvement: Why is Mide Ololade up at 12 midnight writing these profiles?
*They’d be out of a job without him, he’d be in hospital without them
Christian Burgess
Position: Lock
Course: History
Year: 3rd
Children: 1 (check his insta, she’s adorable)
Paternity tests required: 1 (see the above explanation)*
*Whilst he may not have written anything else, I can confirm Calum Luke was responsible for this profile and this profile only.
George Vaughan
Position: Blindside Flanker
Course: Medicine
Year: 3rd
Political ideology: Henry Poon tells him to think of the poor
Celebrity Crush: Theresa May
Hopes for Post-Macadam: Someone to make his soft Brexit a little harder
Tom Francis (C)
Position: Open-side Flanker
Course: Stem Cell Research (PhD)
Year: We’ve stopped counting now
First year halls: Waupun Correctional Institution
Loves: Rugby so much, he plans to do another degree after this
Jack Lilly D’Cruz
Position: Number 8
Course: Medicine
Year: 4
Ethnicity: Ambiguous
Tackling legality: See above
Ben Murphy
Position: Scrum – half
Course: Medicine
Year: 2
Favoured holiday destination: The Watford Gap
Loves: Beers, Boys, Betting Bo Brotection Brom the Borward
Josh Brown
Course: Biomedical Sciences
Position: Fly – Half
Year: 3
Post-degree hopes: A coach who’ll finally entrust him at tight-head
Loves: Being told what to do
Hates: Stealing girlfriends
Tom Crisp
Position: Winger
Course: Medicine
Year: 5
Style of play: The “James Milner” to Sparks’ “Nathaniel Clyne”
Loves: Stealing Girlfriends (You can tell a lot of thought has been put into these)
#Workhorse #IndustrialPace
Richard Hall
Position: Inside Centre
Course: Medicine
Year: 4
Haircut: “you could set your watch to” (google the quote, you’ll thank me for it)
Favourite pastime: Yak feeding
Cassius Deschamps
Position: Outside Centre
Course: Physiotherapy
Year: 1st
Hobbies: Trying to kill Bart Simpson
Franco-Welsh relations: Sexual
Franco-KCL relations: Awkward
David Sparkhall
Position: Winger
Course: Medicine
Year: 5
Number of Shrek Films featured in: 2
Number of women lost to Shrek: 1
Post-medical career hopes: Returning to co-host the Paralympics
James Kemp
Position: Full-Back
Course: Ancient History
Year: 2
Team supported: Crystal Palace
Team coaches vandalised: Crystal Palace
Marco Marcello
Position: Utility Back
Course: Medicine
Year: 3rd
Girlfriend: Mrs Potato Head
Nights out in Oxford: Loose
Glenohumeral Joint: Looser
Keir Smith
Position: Utility forward
Course: History
Year: 3rd
Favourite food: Steamed Hams #nutrition
Most likely place to spend post-macadam: In a VK – hole
Samir Zaman
Position: Second Row
Course: Medicine
Year: 4th
Charitable endeavours: Too many to count
Freshers deserted on a cold, snowing mountain: See above
Jack Kingdon
Position: Back Row
Course: Medicine
Year: 4th
Better looking Kingdon (His words): Fred
Better playing Kingdon (His words): Fred
Henry Poon
Position: Numero Ocho
Course: Medicine
Year: 2nd
Tackles broken per season: ∞
Tackles made per season:
Flynn Griffith
Position: Fullback. He only wants to play fullback.
Course: Medicine
Year: 2nd
Taste in music: Tech-nobodies listening mate
Jawline: So sharp, Jen has to wear protection anytime they kiss
Gary Chan
Position: Winger
Course: Physiotherapy
Year: 2
Voice: just angelic, you might even say it’s Changelic (I’m handing in my P45 as we speak)
Size of quads: Gichan Gigantic
Irish-Welsh Relations: (See Cassius Deschamps)
Al Macfarlane
Position: Utility Back
Course: Medicine
Year: 5
Forearm strength: just wait for the customary hand-off
Fashion strength: He made a deal with the devil to receive his forearm strength
The match takes place Wednesday 29th March, at Honour Oak Park Sports Ground. No tickets required, just appear at 2pm!
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