Rating freshers’ meals based on skill, sexiness and originality

It’s that time of the year when uni starts again, you have to leave the family home and actually be an adult. Whether you’re a first-year or a third-year, everyone knows there always comes a point when you realise this isn’t all fun and games; you actually have to cook a meal. 

Have you ever put a plastic pot in the oven only to come back to it melting all over the oven or cooked an egg in the microwave causing it to explode? If you can safely say you haven’t done these things, I would say you are winning. 

Chicken in blankets, Pendle

This student isn’t playing around when it comes to food, they are here to show the rest of their flat who the real Gordon Ramsey is.

Skill: 10/10, anyone who can navigate two types of meat is a culinary queen. Credit where credit is due. 

Sexiness: 7/10, although those peas are calling my name, slather on some sauce and you have got yourself a winner.

Originality: 10/10, who thinks to wrap chicken in bacon? Definitely not your average fresher.

Mix-match meal, Bowland 

This has to be an end of the week meal where you are using up what you have left in the cupboard. I’m glad to see you getting in your five a day, that will keep the freshers’ flu away.

Skill: 2/10, anyone can cut up cucumber, but I’m sure those Brussels sprouts are cooked to perfection. 

Sexiness: 2/10, this just doesn’t pass the vibe check. I’m not even sure what I’m looking at.

Originality: 5/10, although this isn’t a vibe, the combo is quite original, but I wouldn’t take that as a positive.

Shepherd’s pie? Pendle

I’m going to assume that this is a shepherd’s pie although the so-called potato does look a bit like an omelette, which, if it is, please seek help.

Skill: 7/10, any family can cook this British classic, but we applaud you for cooking it on your own.

Sexiness: 4/10, I hate to say it because I’m sure it was gorgeous to eat but it isn’t that pleasing on the eyes. But, then again, if anyone can make mince meat look good I would love to see that. However, that J20 is bringing in those points. Very boujee!

Originality: 7/10, considering a fresher’s go-to meal is normally anything that is just put in the oven, you really have pulled it out of the bag for this one.

A classic roast, Lonsdale 

This roast may not live up to your mum’s Sunday special but I would happily inhale this. I’m sure this student’s housemates were eyeing this up with envy. 

Skill: 6/10, the ability to not get salmonella is always impressive.

Sexiness: 10/10, let’s be honest, anything smothered in gravy is a winner. Gold medal!

Originality: 6/10, a roast is a classic but if you want big points it has to be “WOW”. However, considering what a uni meal is normally made up of, I applaud you.

Mayo with chips, County

Chips with mayo or mayo with chips? That is the question. 

Skill: 6/10, it’s hard to see under the mayo but those chips look homemade to me. Not the hardest thing to do, but I appreciate the extra effort that most students wouldn’t even attempt.

Sexiness: 5/10, cut back on the mayo and those points would be soaring because those chips are quite something (from what I can see anyway).

Originality: 3/10, this really is a classic combo, therefore I can only give you so much credit.

Bacon and eggs, Pendle

A breakfast for gods, in my opinion, especially considering the fact that there are two beverages. 

Skill: 8/10, honestly that poached egg has me impressed, let’s hope it is as spectacular when you cut into that yolk.

Sexiness: 7/10, that bacon does look a bit sad (although I’m sure it tastes phenomenal), but that egg really makes up for it. 

Originality: 4/10, bacon and eggs, not exactly MasterChef worthy but for a uni student: well done.

Pasta bake, County

This fresher wasn’t just thinking about one meal, they thought big. Did someone say meal plan?

Skill: 8/10, maybe work on that cheese distribution for next time.

Sexiness: 7/10, you’re really ticking all the boxes: pasta, cheese, veg. What more could you want? 

Originality: 4/10, as far as uni meals go, this is a staple. 

If you have managed to feed yourself up until now, you are doing something right. Remember, if you haven’t given yourself food poisoning or set fire to the kitchen it has been another successful day as a uni student.

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