Which Lancs Uni boy you’ve dated based on your favourite SOUR song

The new princess of pop Olivia Rodrigo has dropped her debut album “Sour” and it’s the lyrical masterpiece we never knew we needed. It’s ironic that one of us is in a healthy relationship and the other has never been in a relationship yet we are still obsessed and fired up listening to this breakup album at full volume.

If Olivia Rodrigo went to Lancaster University, and “Sour” was based off her relationships here, this is the type of Lancs Uni boy each song from the album would be about. Sorry boys, but it must be done.

Brutal: The guy from Tinder who just wants sex

We’ve all been there. You start talking to a boy on Tinder where you get too emotionally attached way too early and he inevitably disappoints. He wants one thing and one thing only. When he realises you aren’t on the same page, he ghosts you and the “ego crush is so severe”.

This boy leaves you feeling insecure and “unrelentlessly upset”. You don’t know how to do anything right and makes you want to scream: “God, it’s brutal out here”.

Traitor: County rugby boy

He knows he can get any girl he wants. Yes, he didn’t technically cheat, but it was a betrayal nonetheless.  He moved on really quickly. “It took you two weeks to go off and date her”, that girl he told you not to worry about and that you were “paranoid”. Then he shows “her off as if she’s a new trophy” like he’s just won at Roses.

It’s hard to be angry at him but he’s still a “traitor” leaving you feeling empty and confused.

Drivers license: The boy who brings his guitar to uni

He seemed sweet to begin with, pulling you in with that innocent artsy look as if he couldn’t hurt a fly. He even wrote a song about you. But let’s be honest, like all uni guys who claim to play guitar, it was probably just the same chord progression on repeat. So was it really worth the heartbreak?

1 step forward, 3 steps back: The boy you should have let go of

If we are being truly honest, you should have let go of this boy earlier than when it ended as it was toxic for both of you. Whenever you try to have a conversation with him, “somehow [you] still struck a nerve”. Every time you get together you’re left feeling confused, asking: “Do you love me, want me, hate me?”

No matter how good it felt at the best of times, there was a million other times when you were left in tears. You really were one step forward, three steps back.

Deja vu: The guy in Sugar who always pulls

This guy definitely has a type. He always says the same thing to pull a girl, buys them the same drink, and gives them the same compliments, “it’s all reused”. Every Whoops Wednesday you see him perform the same routine. It’s sad to think that it worked on you.

“I know you get deja vu”.

Good 4 u: Emotionally stable Grad boy

It’s annoying how mature this boy acts after a breakup when all you want to do is burn his “new car” and sabotage his new career “that’s really taking off”. He is “happy and healthy” living his graduate life and nothing makes you angrier, he’s so unaffected you really don’t get it.

Enough for you: The party boy who never misses a sports social

He’s chasing the idea of a perfect girl who can be everything he likes, wanting only the fun casual beginning of a relationship then bailing when it starts to get serious for “someone more exciting”. You couldn’t compete with the girls he used to date even though you loved him more, it wasn’t enough for him.

Once again you are left feeling “used and discarded” when you were prepared to give him everything because nothing you did satisfied him. Is there a worse feeling?

Happier: That nice boy from Pendle

This boy made you happy. Looking back, there’s no hard feelings. He’s such a nice boy, probably from Pendle, and you just want the best for him but selfishly you don’t want him to be happier than when he was with you.

Despite trying to move on, you can’t let him go.

Jealousy, jealously: That BNOC from rowing

This is the guy from rowing who’s friends with everyone on the squad spending the majority of his time on the water, working out or on socials with them. Half his friendship group are girls and you can’t help but feel jealous about how much time he spends with them and not you.

Subconsciously you start to compare yourself to those girls, and it’s killing you slowly. You can’t help thinking that these girls are “happier, prettier” than you. You’re left feeling “jealousy, jealousy.”

Favourite crime: The one from Bowland that never deserved you

Deservedly, or undeservedly, Bowland has a rep for not being liked. This is the guy who all your friends said to stay away from, but you defended him to all your friends. But in the end they were right.

“It’s bitter sweet to think about the damage” that the relationship caused. All in all, this boy never deserved you and you were his “willing accomplice”, willing to do anything for him.

If you haven’t listened to this album on repeat all day, then what have you been doing? After you’ve listened to it about a million times, come back and see if you’re favourite song matches your heartbreak.

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