CCTV: Inside the girls’ toilets

We all know that CCTV is up there with the best nights that Newcastle has to offer, hence why flocks of Northumbrians cross the battle lines and venture over to enemy lines. But we also know that whilst the dance floor houses those slicin’ and dicin’ a move or two, it’s undoubtedly in the toilets where the drama really happens…

Witnessed

– A less than pitch perfect rendition of Aretha Franklin’s ‘Respect’ after one girl makes the valiant decision to delete her ex’s number.

– One wannabe Rocky Balboa, squaring up to herself in the mirror, demonstrating an inspirational pep talk that even Morgan Freeman would be proud of.

– A scarily accurate Miley Cyrus impression. Twerk it baby.

– Exceptionally skinny girl explaining the entire Greggs menu, including the calorific content of a spikey mikey.

– Eyeliner being used as lip liner. It’s not Halloween just yet.

 Overheard

– ‘Kolo? What kind of a name is that? I thought we were chanting Rolo? As in the chocolate.’

– ‘Munchies or McDondald’s? Or both? I’m already in my overdraft and we do need an extra layer of winter fat.’

– ‘Thought that was a £2 coin on the floor but it’s just chewing gum. Feel robbed.’

– ‘I mean David Beckham is good looking and that, but Karl Pilkington is more marriage material ‘cause he doesn’t sound like he’s on helium all the time.’

– ‘I’ll tell him to ring me when my phone has no battery. That’s witty.’