Which gymLAD are you?

Aesthetics Brah!

With testosterone at dangerous levels after the release of the new 300 movie, and with the knowledge that  to get that desired summer bod training will have to start now, the gym is becoming increasingly busier.

From the rowers to the weightlifters, the question that runs through everyone’s mind as they walk slowly to and from the water fountain is, ‘which clique do I belong to?’

Where do you fit?

The Roided up freak of nature

Despite seeing this guy barely being able to carry his water bottle around a couple of weeks ago, he has somehow managed to turn his body into a walking mass of protein. His veins make his arms resemble a road map and  his upper-back muscles are now so large that his neck is effectively immobile.

He says that this mass gain it due to a careful combination of diet and exercise but the roid rage shouts coming from across the gym tell a different story.

Being this big isn’t good.

The Shreaker

This guy thinks it’s acceptable to create his own playlist of moans and grunts for the entire gym.

He’ll push one rep out, while letting out a loud groan as if 50kg of weight has just fallen on his toe, then throw the bar to the floor and take a 10 minute break. You’re not impressing anybody.

Keep your noise to yourself!

The mirror magnet

The vainest person around.  He doesn’t care about strength.  All he wants is a toned beach body.  He will stick to the mirror, slyly turning sideways and tensing to see the full effect of that days workout.

They’re normally in quite good shape….until your eyes drop down and you wonder how his body stays upright, as its obvious that he’s skipped leg day for the past 10 years!

You don’t want to look like this!

The fitness freak

The fitness freak puts everyone to shame. They’ve got all the gear and all the ideas.

There before you arrive and there after you leave, they make you feel pretty shit about yourself. The only silver lining is that you left the gym with your dignity.  Theirs went right out the window the moment they put on their full body lycra suit and headband!

Looking fiiiine!

The Lazy one

Usually sticking to the downstairs cardio floor, they’ll be on the cycling machines watching keeping up with the Kardashians or E4. The chances are that they are probably going  slower than the hunt for the MH370 Malaysian jet.

Their reason behind forking out the £180 for gold membership is questionable. It probably boils down to them justifying the three steak bakes and six sausage rolls they had for lunch.  And that takeaway last night… Naughty!

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