Into the Wild: A guide to Nottingham’s tribes

The tribes of Nottingham. A world masquerading in civility actually hides many species.

Let’s take a closer look.

The Rich Kid With a Poor Kid Complex

I know what you’re thinking. “huh? Is she mad?” Possibly. Or… Possibly not!

Here is an example of the loveable creature we all know and love. Pill-poppin’ and thrift-shoppin’, you can’t throw a pair of New Balance trainers in Notts without hitting their SnapBack adorned heads. A UoN staple tribe.

Just so bloody edgy…

The Rich Kid With the Rich Kid Complex

They answer to the tribe above, and say “I am rich, and that’s fine. Now excuse me whilst I spend daddy’s cash on another Longchamp bag (one can never have enough) and a padded The NorthFace coat.”

At least they are upfront about their wealth (if a little crass).

Yeah I totes bought it on my gap yah…

The Hermits

A slightly lesser known clan. Who are these people?

Where do they come from? The answer is this; these are the people who came here to do a degree, you lazy shits, and will probably be your boss one day. Find them. Go to them. Rub their feet or something.

The Jocks

If you have so much as been within a mile radius of Crisis, you will understand the seeping testosterone and almost savage ambition to have fun.

Both guys and girls feed at this watering ground and make the biggest pricks of themselves as a point of pride. They act the same during the day, but swap the vomit covered shirt for a strut.

YEAH SPORTS!

The International Kids Who Are Nearly Normal

A personal favourite community of mine. They walk like Brits, they talk (debatable) like Brits, they smell like Brits. So what’s the big deal? Well, every now and again they remind us how adorably foreign they are.

If you know a Gibraltarian you will understand my point perfectly. You think you know a Guy. And then.. Dun dun dun: What the hell am I to make of these? Leather slippers? They look like naked mole rats, what’s wrong with you.

What even are they?!

The Over Achiever

Now these really are a pain in the behind. They balance approximately one million things at once and still look better than you could ever hope to.

If kissing the Hermits’ asses is unappealing, these should be your next port of call.

Not at all jealous…

The Secret Achiever

Loosely related to the Over Achiever, this breed puts extensive measures into keeping their real identity hidden; that of being a high-flyer, which gives them a crucial element of surprise to the self-confessed slackers.

The BNOCs

These come in two varieties.

A) Usually male, he is at once approachable and slightly alarming. He will epitomise your visions of uni when you were fifteen, with stories involving boobs, alcohol and painfully embarrassing moments of debauchery.

B) Found in both sexes, the social butterfly is a person who just simply knows everyone. It makes you question life as a whole that one person have so many contacts.

Pay for club entry? Queue up with everyone else? Oh, you are hilarious…

N.B. A BNOC will refer to themselves as a BNOC more than anyone else will. It seems to be some kind of rule.