You’ve spent the entire Christmas and exam break recharging your 5-a-side batteries and you’re ready for that big push up the leagues towards the hallowed Powerleague Student Trophy. This is your time. This is your moment.

You’ve assembled your team of overenthusiastic tiki-taka specialists and you reckon you’ve really got a shot this term.

But there’s one thing you haven’t sorted out. The name.

Everyone knows there’s nothing more important in Powerleague football than the team name. Get the name wrong and you haven’t just made yourself a laughing stock, you’ve also given your wittier opponents the upper hand.

Get it right and you’ve made yourselves legends, known throughout the land as the ultimate banterlads, Kings of Chat and supreme lash-hounds.

Don’t worry, panicked student, we’ve spent weeks extensively compiling a list of the best Powerleague names known to man, including some Nottingham specific beauties:

Mildly Witty:

50 Shades O’Shea

Slumdog Mignolet

AC a little silhouetto of Milan

Electric Dwight Yorkestra

Murder on Zidane’s Floor

I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Kalou

ABCDE FC

Pleased To Michu

Chamakh My Bitch Up

Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtels

Le Saux Solid Crew

Bayer Neverlusen

Tea and Busquets

Mirror Signal Malouda

The Tortoise and De Gea

Teenage Mutant Ninja Skrtel

Nottingham Uni Specific:

Lenton Footboulevard

The Bute-iful Game

Teversal Over Now

Lenton! LENTON! Oh Jesus Christ…

Kimballton Avenue

Ballward Ladbrary

Tim Sherwood Hall

Sebastian Coates Building

Embarrassingly Crude:

Multiple Scorgasms

2 Goals 1 Cup

Inter Ya Nan

Nottinyourmum’s Forest

Moleicester City

Tottenham Hotsperm

Manchester Titty

Exeter Gently

Shagged’er Don’task

Electric Dwight Yorkestra

Classics:

Barcaloner

Hugo Rodallega Bombs

Charlton Unathletic

L.A.D Galaxy

Deportivo Lacatalent

Dyslexia Untied

The Jackson 5 a side

Borussia Teeth

Pathetico Madrid

Fiorentina Turner

The Tortoise and De Gea