What Nott to wear on a night out

Rewind back to your moments as a fresher. You’re in a whole new city, excited about hitting all the “finest” clubs in town until reality kicks in.

You have no idea what to wear.

High Heels

Stride with pride

For some reason, the crappier the town the classier you have to dress.

You don’t want to end up in QMC with a broken ankle, after prinking too hard before Forum.

The only acceptable place to add a few inches is the classiest of them all, Coco Tang. No one will judge you, until you end up tripping down the stairs after one too many Lemon Dragons.

White.. anything

RIP White plimsolls, 2011-2014

Wearing that pair of white trainers to Ocean will never be a good idea.

When the floor of whatever club you’re in has seen more STDs than a sexual health clinic, it’s definitely a recipe for “Yes-these-will-never-be-the-same-again”.

“Sexy” cut up tee’s 

No one will think that’s sexy. Instead we’ll see right through the torn edges of that once normal top and straight to your desperate need to show off your stuff.

Wife beaters or muscle tees

Sun’s out gun’s out? Not in Britain mate

No one wants to know that you’ve been reincarnated as a Ken doll.

Put away those guns and actually wear something we’ll feel comfortable being seen with you in, because wifebeaters are on our list of dont’s.

A night out is not an excuse to talk about all the deadlifts you’ve been doing with your gym lads.

Bralets

Unless you’ve been gifted with the magic that is small boobs, seriously put your tits away. The amount of cleavage you set free says a lot about you.

There is a time and place to get jiggly, but having an accidental boob slip in that gorgeous bralet might just make you want to wish you left your taataa’s at home.

Bum shorts

Your bum called.. they want some coverage.

They’re called denim shorts for one reason; they aren’t supposed to be worn as panties.

Is having your ass hang out really worth the wedgie you’re constantly having to pull out with every slut drop?

Jelly Shoes

Reserve these beauties for the few days of sunshine we get

We’ve witnessed this look first hand during a walk to uni down Derby road in the pouring rain. Since when would pairing jelly shoes with an umbrella make sense?

It won’t end well, but at least your head will be dry.

Spandex Disco Pants

Save that shine for the mirrors darling

Whoever told you looking like an extra from 50 Shades of Grey was sexy, probably lied.

Really shiny spandex are just going to leave you with a very visible knicker line, and doesn’t look good on the best of us.

Uni Stash

We know you made the right desision by actually working to get your AAB for uni, but unless it’s initiation night, you’re going home alone with only your kebab to spoon.