Nottingham according to Tripadvisor

Let’s be honest, we all spend most of our weekends either dragging out a hangover from two nights before or binging on Season 5 of a random Netflix series that we’ve already watched three times over, both situated in bed.

But on those chance weekends that a family member or friend from home decide to check that you’re alive, you find yourself asking “What the hell am I gonna show them that doesn’t involve a wifi connection or Ocean?” Well apparently there’s a city out there and the people at Tripadvisor have answered that question for you!

Let’s start with an overview

I can only wonder why they didn’t use a slick aerial view of Lenton on the Nottingham homepage…maybe the look they were going for didn’t involve ‘youth in dressing gown with an undertone of overflowing bin.’

Centre of England? That doesn’t bode well for all the Southerners claiming to be up North. Also, no men in tights? It seems like someone clearly hasn’t been to crisis on fancy dress night…

The Castle

Historic landmark or waste of time? Let’s admit we’ve all walked up to it, put on our best ‘I’m so impressed what a thing to be proud of’ face, noted the entrance fee and sodded off as quickly as possible without appearing too much like budgeting students. But is it worth a look?

So no then. Definitely not worth wasting your £6 ‘enterance’(as quoted from Tim) fee for Friday night after all.

But it’s okay, you don’t even need to venture there because Martin D has given us a very extensive round up of all that the castle’s history and all that it has to offer, whilst being sure to formulate a plan of events just in case that wasn’t enough. Cheers Martin D!

Wollaton Hall

They don’t really advertise the whole ‘this place is filled with dead, stuffed and frankly terrifying animals’ thing on the outside do they? Maybe stick to staging your show off selfies from the outside. Avoid the vacant look inside.

Green’s Windmill

Wait what? There’s a windmill?! Mind blown. And it’s a science museum?!…Okay I’ll pass.

Trams

Has anyone actually been on one of these?! The prospect of a tram in the town centre seemed so exciting before coming to uni, very dutch! So is there a new alternative to the 34 bus? Nice little tram ride, that’d be nice, surely?

Okay let’s just skip ahead then…

Taxis

Well Mary, I want the name of the taxi driver you’re calling up! Awesome, on time, clean and cheap? Clearly you haven’t been getting a taxi from a rank outside a club at 3am. Sometimes I’d rather walk. Now it’s not all bad; at least we can brag to our parents about the ‘cool lights.’ That makes up for the times they’ve made us late for our Crisis ticket.

Ocean

Well this is just wrong.

Rock city

You’ll need five showers, a full detox and an ‘untag’ button on Facebook after this night out.

Embrace the dirty floors, toilets where the floor is as much of a cubicle as the things themselves and the smell of regret and you’ll have a great time with your cheap drink and distinct aroma of chav. What’s not to love?

The University of Nottingham

Let’s look to the Uni itself for some ego boost.

Maybe your best bet is to remind anyone who asks about Nottingham that at least the Uni’s? Then run back to bed for season 6.