This is categorically the best seat in Hallward library: An investigation

Hallward. The place where students of the Humanities come to spend excruciating amounts on Starbucks and to be shushed by aggressive library assistants.

This will be your second home for the three or more years you're here. The only thing to cause you more agony than your inevitable 2:2 dissertation will be the question: Where is, definitively, officially, categorically, the best place to sit?

Fear not.

The Cafe Stalls

Rating: 0/10

Ok let's start with the worst. I'm sorry but if you're sitting here there is one word for you….rogue. This is the worst seat ever. Not quite sitting, not quite standing, you are left to hover awkwardly.

People stand here scoffing sandwiches and whacking people with enormous backpacks, not acceptable for work.

Thank you, very much, NEXT.

Level 3 Silent Study Area

Rating: 4/10

Shhhh! The only sound coming from this area are whispers of the scandal of the previous night and crisp packets rustling. Ideal for reading in the comfy green cubicle chairs, this is for serious workers only.

Come exam period these are the seats to be beat but otherwise, they're ok. The tables are very small and the view of the bins is less than appealing.

Level 4 Table

Rating: 6/10

Ok things are heating up now. We're talking serious Insta #goals. This is a great table. Space to spread out, circular for that much needed socialisation on breaks (or all the time let's be honest).

This seat provides a view that's perfect to send to Aunt Margaret who wants to see where you study. Impressive yes, though it's still not quite THE table – it's on a quiet floor and has no nearby plugs…

Main Floor of Hallward

Rating: 8/10

Ok you've sat on the main floor, secured a table for 5 for 1, score! Avoid the evil stares of disgruntled students, you're officially a cool kid. Most people are in Uni of Sports jerseys, this is a good seat for a reason.

You're near a plug, the toilets and the one functioning water cooler! It's pretty perfect and seats are gone by 10 – the major drawback however…that bloody aircon, bring a jumper or wear a padded bra unless you want to inadvertently #freethenipple – it's definitely chilly out.

Casa de Bertie

Rating: 5/10

The official seat of the catnapped Bertie.

Major drawbacks to this seat; you may find yourself in the house of a Frenchwoman attempting to take you to Europe.

The Booth

Rating: 9/10

Insert choral music. It may be unconventional, but THIS is the best seat in Hallward. Trust me. A comfy yet upright seat with space to work and an accompanying plug.

Next to the cafe so you can caffeine up at regular intervals, and eavesdrop on Charlotte's crisis disaster when the coursework isn't cutting it. This seat is next to the loos and the view outside isn't too bad – you've avoided the aircon and are generally winning at life.

The holy grail of seats, congratulations if you've got this seat you're a boss. My tip, get there by 9:30 for a booth or else you'll be sharing it with 30 year old Masters students.

To prove how good this seat is, we had to take pictures of us sitting there. But there was already someone there, so we just sat next to him. After three photos and approximately a minute and a half, he was visibly annoyed. This was the best one we got before we had to leave him to his – frankly unrivalled – studying.