A definitive A-Z of every Crisis night

Crisis is arguably one of the most popular nights out amongst University of Nottingham students, and if you aren’t on a sports team – its also one of the most exclusive. Tickets can range anywhere between 7 pounds to about 700. So, let’s find out exactly what you’ll be paying for.

A – Angry Bouncers

As much as we love a Crisis night, we all know what dicks the bouncers can be. It’s a usual sight seeing countless upon countless of posts on Buy/Sell in the morning of someone getting too mashed up from some bouncer who has an aggression problem.

B – Buy/Sell

How else can you simultaneously find a ticket, recover your lost earring and get the name of the cute girl in the pea costume who screamed ‘DM me’ from across the bar? Buy/Sell is a god gift from heaven.

C – Cheesy music

Were you really at Crisis if you weren’t belly dancing to ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ by Shakira, the whole track list from Lion King, or the same shitty songs that you used to adore back in year 9?

D – Do you even smoke?

Prepare for a ‘stampede’ of non-smokers who go to the crowded smoking area for ‘fresh’ air. Some say the smoking is good, if not better, than Crisis itself. You’ll come for a cheeky chat with your mate, ending up nabbing a ciggy from some random, and find yourself there until 3am. Standard.

E – Eager

Eager for drinks, eager to boogie, AND most commonly – eager for girls… Nobody is more desperate at a Crisis night than an eager boy with balls of confidence.

F – Fancy costumes

Enjoy using your loan to buy new costumes every weekend in the city centre just so you can look cute for pics at pres, and then see them completely demolished by Thursday morning.

G – Grimey

The floor smells like something out of a bad dream and acts like a magnet to your dirty af white shoes. All that “yeeting” of VK’s has left the floor like a disgusting, hot, sticky mess.

H – Hangovers

9:00AM Thursday? What’s that?

I – “I swear I’m not drunk”

Not knowing what time it is, where your friends are and why there is vomit on your shoes. And yet, you promise us that you’re NOT drunk!

J – Jagerbombs

Anyone else’s heart rate reaching 270bpm?

K- Knock Out

Crisis is more than a club, it’s a lifestyle choice. And with choosing Crisis, also comes the consequence that the next day you will be a complete knock out. One does not go to Smack on a Wednesday and make all their lectures on a Thursday.

L – Lost

Every friendship group has that one friend with ‘if found, please call _’ plastered on their foreheads.

M – Mirror Seflies

I spend at least 50% of the night taking photos of myself in the bathroom. #noshame

N – Nine-PM entry

The choice is yours.

O – “OUCH, you fell on me”

Moshpits will be your best and worst nightmare.

P – Pres

Getting drunk at pres so you won’t spend money out, but also using it as an excuse for why you lost 40 quid on jagerbombs.

Q – Queuing

Lining up is all part of the experience.

R – Rugby lads

Don’t go to the small bar upstairs unless you want to be interrogated by some 18 year old with braces.

S – Stairs

Taking the DJ too seriously when he screams ‘get low’, and falling down the staircase.

T – Team sports

If you aren’t in a team sports, you’re pretending you’re in one.

U – Uni of

Hearing the MC shout “if you’re in Univesity of Nottingham, put YOooOoooOo hands uP!!!!!” for the 400th time.

V – VKs

Proving to everyone you can chug your VK even though nobody actually cares.

W – Wednesdays

Is Wednesday really Wednesday if you aren’t drunk at 8pm, lining up until 10pm, and passed out on the sidewalk at 1am?

X – X-tremely drunk

Well, I didn’t spend 11 pounds on a ticket to stay sober.

Y – Yummy hot dogs and burgers

I’ve paypaled a stranger so they’d give me 3 pounds for a hot dog. 10/10 recommend.

Z – Zzz

Time for bed… You try think of something better beginning with ‘Z’.