A definitive A-Z of Buy/Sell Notts – the ups and downs

Here it is, your A-Z conclusive guide to Buying and Selling at Nottingham University. When it comes to snagging tickets for Crisis, success comes from within (the Buy/Sell group).

And to truly master the art of haggling, dodging scammers and crafting the perfect post, you need to know all the tricks of the trade. Luckily for you, they're just down below (in exchange for 3 11pm Crisis tickets next week).

A – Absolutely seems like a great idea

It’s Wednesday evening and that 10:30 VIP Crisis (entrance through BCL – if you know, you know) ticket is literally screaming your name. You’ve left it to the last minute to grab tickets for you and your mates but don’t worry because Buy/Sell has got you covered. Or has it?

B – But is it actually worth it?

Now I couldn’t tell you the definitive success rate when it comes to snagging last minute tickets, especially for the big C. But what I can tell you is that on more than one occasion I’ve simply been left empty-handed. I’m no Economics student but I can definitely sense a real supply/demand problem here.

C – Could you risk it for a chocolate biscuit?

Posting on Buy/Sell can sometimes be as worthless as showing up to your 9am after Crisis. However, for those lucky few who do decide to take the plunge, it’s possible, you might be able to snag a 9pm ticket with your name on it.

D – Drunk at 7pm?

If you’re one of the lucky ones, who have the luxury of pre-ing before Crisis, be sure to raise a glass to the rest of us with our journey juice and 9pm tickets. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

E – Everybody does it

Whether you’re a fresher, post-grad or someone’s long-lost cousin, there’s no denying that a cheeky post on Buy/Sell is merely part of your Tuesday evening routine. Forget facemasks and hot chocolate, dig out the notepad and start brainstorming the perfect post.

F – Freshers

Speaking of the devils, I’m pretty sure Crisis tickets were released before they had even gotten their A-level results. Unless you had an unconditional, please leave the buying and selling to us. Cheers.

G – Grabbing a deal

You think you’ve struck gold – 3 VIP Crisis 10:30 tickets for face value – hurrah! But it soon transpires that you’ve been completely and utterly scammed and unfortunately Rebecca Johnson from Nottingham Trent University no longer exists on Facebook.

H – Heartfelt anecdotes

We can’t all be flown over from Barcelona x

I – Intriguing offers

£20 for an 11pm Crisis ticket does sound incredibly appealing but unfortunately I would like to eat over the next few days James.

J – Just stay at home

You can’t always rely on this but from past experience, if you leave it till around 7:30pm on Wednesday eve, you can reap the benefits of those who have decided to hang up their Buffalos and call it a night. Yes, I’m talking about the people who have either a) pre-napped to hard or b) would simply rather catch an episode of The Apprentice. Who can blame them? Crisis is most definitely not for the faint-hearted.

K – Keep trying

Especially for those all-important all-nighters. It might cost you an arm and a leg but at least you’ll be able to say that you made it to the Big C against all odds and earn yourself some serious sesh cred.

L – Looking to swap 9pm

Of course you are. Because who in their right mind wants to so much as step foot inside Rock City before 10pm. Pull yourselves together, some of us haven’t even eaten dinner yet.

M – Memes

Never underestimate the power of the meme. What seems like a subconscious, perhaps even futile attempt to make your friends laugh or rack up likes on Facebook can actually be a pretty powerful tool in convincing people to part with their tickets. Just like a good packet of crisps, the more original the better.

N – No means no

I’m just going to say it. Stop inviting all of your friends to Crisis. I don’t care if they’ve flown halfway around the world or they’ve braved the trip down from Leeds. There simply isn’t enough room and there’s certainly not enough tickets either. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

O – Oh no…

You’ve lost your stuff again. Now Buy/Sell might not be great at providing the good goods but when it comes to finding lost ID’s (silly freshers) or even uncovering where the back of your pearl gold (family heirloom x) earring was last seen, Buy/Sell has got you covered.

P – Power of persuasion

Everyone knows Crisis happens every week, every Wednesday, without fail. So you’re trying to tell me that you've ‘just been persuaded to go out’. I’m simply not buying it. If you haven’t prepared in advance then see if you can persuade yourself to stay home that night instead.

Q – Queueing at box just isn’t an option

Ain’t nobody got time for that.

R – Reps

Buy/Sell is a place for peace, love and the occasional Crisis ticket NOT, and I repeat NOT, for people to rep their (let’s be honest) very mediocre events and spam all of us, honest, good people, with endless average posts. Quit flogging your £7.50 Caramello tickets and get us to the Black Cherry Lounge.

S – Sporty boys

If he’s got a tie, he’s your guy. But please quit posting on Buy/Sell. Unless you’re giving me a heads up on the all exclusive code or lending me a kit for the night, then keep your player layer and initiations to yourselves x

T – There’s only one Buy/Sell

Through all it’s ups and downs, the truth is, we’d all be lost without Buy/Sell. If you thought you were dependent on your meal card in first year, try and imagine a world without Buy/Sell – that relentlessly provides the occasional Crisis ticket, lost ID’s, top notch banter and so much more. It’s a sad, sad thought.

U – Unisalad

Great app. Perhaps a more reliable source of tickets but, let’s not lie, it’s not a patch on the original.

V – Voice those opinions

Freedom of speech is not only legal but encouraged on Buy/Sell. So if someone’s trying to sell you a Crisis ticket for £25, don’t be afraid to name and shame. We’re all students here, (aside from Andy Hoe) let’s look out for one another and keep the prices at face value.

W – Willing to sell your soul?

How far are you willing to go for a Crisis ticket?

X – (x)

I don’t know about anyone else but just because you put an ‘x’ at the end of your post, it doesn’t make me any more inclined to part with my tickets. Sorry babe it’s just not working x

Y – YOU again

Every week, without fail, you get the same people popping up, begging for a ticket. Please just get your priorities in order and book your tickets in advance. Stop taking liberties and leave some for the rest of us.

Z – Zoo

As an English student, I am no stranger to a good old simile. The way I’d describe Buy/Sell is that it's as chaotic as a zoo. You've got your cheeky monkeys – trying to sell you a ticket for double the price of face value, you've got your chameleons – who disappear shortly after selling you £25 all nighter tickets, you've got your cows – who milk every opportunity to rack up likes with their mediocre memes and, of course, you've got your elephants – who like sticking their noses into everyone's business. Buy/Sell truly is a zoo but we wouldn't change it for the world.