I went on a night out in Nottingham completely sober and here’s how it went

Here in Notts, we’re known for our nightlife and are renowned for going hard on our nights out. We’ve all said “I’m never drinking again” at least once, thanks to a nasty hangover or having to drag ourselves to a 9am after approximately three hours sleep.  We all know that alcohol isn’t great for our health and let’s be honest, it doesn’t even taste that nice most the time. Plus we’ve all done some embarrassing things when drunk even if we can’t remember them the morning after.

We decided the best location for the partially sober night out would be Rock City, which advertises itself as “The UK’s Number One Nightclub”, which makes it seem like the best place to start. Here’s how my night out in Notts completely sober went:

8pm – 9pm: Getting ready

My house was hosting pres for this semi-sober night out, telling people to come over from 8pm, which in uni means more like 9pm. My housemates and I normally drink a little before this begins, but this evening, I was going to stick to the Diet Cokes, hold the vodka.

9pm – 10:30pm: Pres

Pres is arguably the best part of any night out. At this point, I was high on my sugar rush and thoroughly enjoying watching my friends getting progressively more drunk. Being sober means you are aware of the very entertaining conversations that your friends are having. You learn a lot of secrets.

Don’t give drunk people your phone.

10:30pm

The trauma of ordering the Ubers. There were a lot of us and we were going to need three taxis between us. This is where I came in as “the organiser”. When I tell you I was shouting at the people in my house. Something about drunk people – they just don’t cooperate. Still, I was feeling confident about the night. I found two other people sober enough to order a taxi, split the group and we were on our way.

11:02pm

Got a text in the Uber, someone has thrown up and can’t get in so they’re off home. Suddenly extremely grateful I’m not drinking.

Keep them anonymous

11:05pm

We didn’t really have to queue that night which I was very grateful for. I was missing the alcohol blanket and feeling the cold. One of my friends is always a “take a coat, pay for the cloakroom” kinda girl (one reason she’s the mum friend) but the rest of us would rather freeze than pay. This night, I was regretting all my life choices and I was lucky we weren’t outside long.

11:10pm

We beeline for the bar to get the free jäger which I handed off to the closest group member. My friends are funny on a regular day but when they’re drunk, they’re hilarious. Anyone who knows us will say that we’re all basically the same person so we find each other very funny. But let me tell you, we talk rubbish when we’re drunk and it’s a million times funnier. The night was off to a good start.

11:15pm

First pee of the night. Can’t remember who needed it, but it was the first of many.

11:20pm

Now it’s time to start dancing. I’m loving it despite my initial fears that I’d need a lie down when I got inside. The tiredness hadn’t kicked in yet and I was having a great time laughing at what my drunk friends were doing. We weren’t in the middle of the floor yet so we had a good amount of space and were singing Gimme Gimme Gimme with all the passion of Donna and the Dynamos.

11:35pm

The decision was made that we now wanted to be in the middle of the dance floor. Bad choice when sober. With every elbow in my side I was getting more and more annoyed. But I was there with my friends and whatever we were dancing/singing to, we were doing it with passion.

Lotttttt of drunk people

12am

Drinks. The people wanted more drinks and more drinks the people had. One blessing of sobriety is that your bank account doesn’t take a hit. I won’t lie, at this point the adrenaline was starting to wear off but there was no choice other than to carry on. Was I tempted? Yes. Did I drink? Never.

12:10pm

Momentary chaos. It was about now that we split up and everyone went who knows where. One of the benefits of being a big group is everyone’s with someone, but being sober makes you worry 10-times more (though I’ve been known to ask where my friends are about 100 times on a less sober night out). After texting a few drunk people, we knew everyone was safe and could carry on the night in peace.

12:15am

Probably about the fourth pee break around now and maybe a detour to Black Cherry Lounge? I was also noting that drunk people laugh at everything for literally no reason.

12:30am

Photo booth time. We love the photo booth in Rock City and yes, it will cost you your life savings but the picture at the end is worth it. Memories of someone shouting “FUNNY. LET’S DO FUNNY”. I don’t think we did do funny but I’m glad they were having a good time.

12:35am

Moment of realisation walking across the balcony that drunk people are a lot less tolerable when you’re sober.

12:45am

I reckon it was about now that we found the other members of the group. I was well on the way to wanting to go to bed and I can safely say the Coke I had at 8pm had worn off. I was tempted to ask for a jägerbomb hold the jäger but I thought that would probably be a step too far.

12:50am

Creepy men. You can’t escape them, sober or otherwise. We’re normally quite good at spotting them and will pull each other away from anyone we think is suspect and the boys in our group are also good at swapping places with us when needed. I have to say though, even the regular drunk boys that night were bordering on creepy. I’m not one to get off with random boys in clubs at the best of times, but being sober gave me the ick on literally everyone.

1am

Hitting the single digits and still in Rock City. I know what you’re thinking because I was thinking the same: “Is it not home time yet?” It was not. I was also hungry. I did get a burst of energy at the confetti going off which I can only assume was to something like Sweet Caroline but I can’t remember properly. It was quite clear that the group was coming down off the alcohol high and we wouldn’t be there too much longer.

1:15am

It’s now just time ticking on. We’re simply waiting for the moment that we all say we want to go home. We’ve been known to stay until closing but today was not that day and my bed was calling me.

1:30am

This is when I knew for sure my housemates were no longer drunk. One of my friends assumed what we call the “dad stance” with her arms crossed, silently looking around the room, another was saying she was tired and the third was giving me a tired smile saying “I’m fine. No honestly I’m fine.” I was well and truly ready to go. But alas, the night is young and we’ve probably got a little longer left in us right?

1:35am

Wrong! Home time. We’ve had enough and are falling asleep. I’m pretty sure the rest of the group stayed maybe another half an hour after us but for my house, it was well and truly time for bed. While we are partial to a walk home, someone said we needed to take a taxi because it was cold and we were tired and they were not wrong. There was no Maccy’s mozzarella sticks for us that night – we all just wanted to get home.

1:45am

In bed relatively early for a night out – we’ve been known to get home for 5am before, but normally when everyone’s a lot drunker. I have to say I was much much more tired than normal which I wasn’t really surprised at, but I did fall asleep much more quickly and deeply.

10am Saturday morning

Ahhhhh glorious. A long sleep and waking up with no sickness or feeling like there was someone drilling my head. Texts to the group chat made it clear that there were people feeling a lot rougher than I was in the morning and watching everyone neck back glasses of water did make me smile a little. Plus, there’s nothing quite like telling people what they did when they were drunk the night before.

What did I learn? This night was a whole learning experience, I have to say. The biggest things I learnt was that if you’re with the right people, you really do not need alcohol to have fun. My housemates are some of my favourite people and I was never going to feel out of place because I wasn’t drinking. I went 18 years of my life having fun without alcohol (yes, I didn’t drink underage – what a loser) so I can easily do a night.

So, would I do it again? Maybe! I think it depends where I was going, who with and for how long. If you’re with people you’re close to, it’s a lot easier because you’ll have fun either way. I’d argue I was ready for bed a lot quicker without alcohol but that is to be expected. As for the venue, put it this way, if I was going to Unit 13 then I’d need more than a Coke to get me through the night.

I’m a lot less presentable on a normal night

Top Tips for a sober night out

I know some people wouldn’t dream of a night out without getting off their faces but whether you don’t drink by choice, for a reason or just want a break, then a night out sober is 100 per cent doable. So here are my three top tips:

1. You’re going to have to accept that almost everyone else is drunk. At the end of the day, not many people are going clubbing sober. So, if you can think of nothing worse than being surrounded by a group of drunk people, then it’s probably not for you and that’s okay!
2. Go to a place you actually want to go to. I was lucky I liked the music where we went – if it was rave music I probably wouldn’t have made it through the door.
3. You’re there to have fun – so have fun! It’s easy to feel like you have to be responsible because you’re the sober one but you really don’t. On the rare chance there is a problem, then your friends will let you know. Everyone’s an adult and you don’t need to worry about them until there’s something to worry about. So just enjoy yourself!

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Spooktacular Halloween events happening in Nottingham this October

• Tarot readings and Micro-Influencers: The most interesting ways Notts students make money

• Here’s eight reasons why you should choose to study abroad as a Notts student