Best Places to Crewdate in Oxford

Love them or hate them, these ‘restaurants’ are an essential part of Oxford life, and The Tab has gone on a mission to find the best and worst of our local crewdate haunts.

1. Mirch

Location: Bloody miles away (Cowley)

Food: Standard fare of bhajis, poppadoms and a selection of non-specific curries

Cost: One of the cheaper ones at £12

Lashiness: High, almost impossible to get banned

Big windows mean you’re a performance to normal, upstanding civilians walking by

Author’s worst memory: Downing bhajis, breaking the majority of the glassware and finding out that, while tricky, it is possible to be banned

Overall rating: 2/5 good if you’re crewdating Brookes, live out and don’t fancy going to the club.

2. At Thai

Location: High Street

Food: Thai food, duh, but not much of it

Cost: £13 and poor value at that

What is this, a restaurant for ants?

Lashiness: Low – despite being on a separate floor from normal clientele, the staff are ever-present and a £50 security deposit limits the ‘lashbants’ of you getting all Buller on them.

Author’s worst memory: Crockery belongs on the table, not sailing out of high windows

Overall rating: 2/5 – in the words of Woody Allen, “the food was terrible and so little of it”.

3. The Big Bang

Location: In a castle, closest to the clubs, impossible to find when drunk

Food: sausage and mash and lots of it

A sausage fest, but in a good way

Cost: pricey at £15

Lashiness: fair, all crew-dating nights and cheeky staff make for raucous nights

Author’s worst memory: filthy sconces of our crewdate partners drowned out by Joe Miles’ piano playing

Overall rating: 2/5 – so loud sconcing is impossible, though good food and keen owner

4. Bombay

Location: Miles (50 metres) past Arzoo

Food: Curry, two types if you’re lucky

Cost: cheap at £12 

Arzoo having a laugh?

Lashiness: High – a cosy atmosphere allows heavy sconcing/pennying

Author’s worst memory: The look of disgust on some poor lass’ face when faced with the author’s hirsute navel-to-bodyshot

Overall rating:  3/5 Arzoo’s forgotten, naughty cousin

5. The New Jamals (Arzoo’s to you freshers)

Location: Perfect

Food: Perfection

Cost: Bargain at £13

Lashiness: Unsurpassable 

The curry house equivalent of Anselm’s ontological argument; “that than which nothing greater can be conceived”

Author’s worst memory: None, Only Great Memories

(Editor’s best memory – the staff iniating a lock-in after undisclosed fresher vomited all through the restaurant, including on innocent couples’ tables. The full kitchen staff form a picket line in front of the entrance until cleaning bill was paid.)

Overall rating: 5/5 The original and best, why go anywhere else?

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