Investigation: What makes a good crewdate?

With recent controversy over crewdate etiquette, we’ve asked some people what crewdates are and why they’re so enjoyable for some, and not for others.

Are they really fun? Or are we all just pretending to be lads?

True, it’s a chance to boast about your proudest and most shameful sexual moments and also makes those too tame to be there feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Every crewdate varies massively in how enjoyable it is, and the people I asked all had very different opinions and experiences.

Historian, St Peter’s

I hate crew dates, treating people like objects cheapens everyone there.

‘Good pants, bad pants’ being a prime example. Why does everyone feel the need to reveal their sexual secrets to strangers?

Biologist, Pembroke

The Tab: What makes a good crewdate? 

A good crew date means good sconces, and knowing the other team well enough to have a laugh together and for things not to get weird.

An example of a relaxing crewdate

Your best crewdate was…?

When Pembroke netballers dated the footballers, there was no awkwardness because we all knew each other, which made it much better.

What’s the worst thing about crew dates?

It’s always nice to meet new people but that comes with the pressure of sleeping together.

Does gentlemanly behaviour have a place on a crew date?

I think it does. When we dated the footballers, all the boys had to buy a present for their respective girl and at a certain point in the meal we were all presented with flowers or chocolate, which was a really nice touch.

You could meet legends like these over an overpriced curry.

Historian, Brasenose

What makes a good crewdate?

A good crew date needs to come from both sides. It’s worst if the girls are shocked by laddy sconces. Everyone just needs to be willing to embarrass themselves.

Does it make it better if you know the other team so it’s less awkward?

No, it’s so much worse if you know the other team, it has to be anonymous – this is what makes it worthwhile.

Is there a sexual pressure from the boy’s point of view?

Definitely not for me, I’ve never even got with someone after a crew date. I just get too drunk. I guess there can be pressure but not really anything that means much.

You should hear these guys’ sconses at crewdates…

University Swimmer

Why do people go on crewdates?

I guess crew dating someone gives you more chance of meeting someone than if you just go clubbing. If you meet and chat to people its more likely you’ll find someone you actually like.

Can you really just describe a crew date as “chatting to people”? Isn’t there more of an exposition of yourself than that?

It is weird, the idea of exposing yourself to strangers but it’s meant to be light-hearted, and not to expose you more than you’d like.

Is the point of a crew date to sleep with people?

I tend not to think of a crew date as a sexual opportunity and I don’t like the idea of guys thinking of it like that.

Two crewdating teams

We actually had a really nice crew date with the triathletes because they weren’t even going out afterwards so it was pretty chilled and not too laddish.

What other advice would you give?

I think its wrong to get too wasted on a crew date, they’re good in moderation otherwise they can get quite samey. Also there’s always the risk that they’ll be really awkward.

To be honest, you could always go for a big meal with your friends and maybe that would be money better spent.

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The opinions are varied, some love and some hatred. That might be the way it will always be.

The answer is probably: go on a crew date, enter into a bit of light hearted fun, but don’t take it too seriously and don’t expect to copulate during or afterwards.