What to do when your dinner party host doesn’t eat as much as you

Most people say they love food, but some obviously eat a lot more than others.

Sadly, not all friends (mainly the ones you haven’t eaten) share your kind of appetite. They prefer regular sized portions, and eating at their house can be tricky.

Fellow food lovers and those with abnormally large stomach thresholds, here’s some top tips on how to dine with friends who don’t eat as much as you.

Be prepared

Essentially eat like you’re about to run a marathon: big breakfasts like porridge, lunches of stodgy carbs and veg. You could even load up on carbs the night before like a true athlete.

You ideally want to arrive feeling peckish but not famished. Never ever arrive famished.

Try and hold it together when you do start eating

Don’t stare at the fridge

It’s not so much rude, it’s more weird. Staring trancelike at the fridge and craning your neck to see inside whenever someone opens it is frankly just going to make your pals think you have a crick in your neck and dodgy eyes.

Man, I just love fridges

Fill them with as much drink as possible

In some of their toilet breaks you can swipe some food off their plate (it’s not like they’ll notice as they don’t seem to like food).

It’s a moral dilemma, so if you think you’ll be unable to sleep that night, have a biscuit from your personal stash (what do you mean you don’t keep a stash of food with you at all times?!) to ward off hunger pangs.

get them drunk so they don’t realise how much you’re eating

Help with cooking

Arrive early enough to lend a hand, and then “accidentally” let your hand slip as you add pasta to the pan. Damn, look at all that food…

It’s good news that you can eat more than the average heavyweight champion, eh?

Be more subtle than this

Tell them you’re bringing a housemate with you

More friends equals more food, so your host is going to prepare even more.

The key here is then to tell them you had a fight with the housemate en route.

This means that there’s more food and you can bitch about your housemate for added bonding.

Sarah is just such a flake.

You know my housemate, right?

Now you should be fully equipped to tackle any household that doesn’t eat as much as you. And remember, if it doesn’t work out – there’s always Runnymede Ribs and Chicken on the way home.