I did Strictly Come Holloway and I cannot dance

I bumped into my pal Tiffany about three weeks ago as she was stressing about an event she was planning called Strictly Come Holloway, which was taking up a load of her time.

Later that day she messaged me asking to take part as someone had dropped out. After I spent about a day and half stalling, she wore me down and I agreed to become the final “campus celebrity”.

Don’t you know who I am?

At this point, I should tell you that absolutely no-one who has ever met me would describe me as “graceful” – I have all the foot coordination of a baby giraffe (apart from in the SU – in the SU I am Shakira).

So it was settled that I would be dancing the quickstep with my partner, Ben. So far, so good – how quick can it be? Bloody quick, I was soon to find out.

I’ll say straight away that Ben has the patience of a saint: he never once got irritated at my incessant “can you repeat that?” and kicking him in the shins/occasionally legging him over.

I’ve only watched Strictly a handful of times, which could be why I wasn’t expecting how up-close and personal “the hold” is (you’re supposed to be entirely touching along your right sides), so I spent a chunk of the first session trying to suppress awkward laughter while simultaneously buggering up the steps. Sorry Ben.

Plus, the female is supposed to lean back in a nicely uncomfortable position whilst looking in the opposite direction of where you’re going. Excellent.

After a couple of lessons I started to get the hang of it, and everything was going swimmingly until I was handed a pair of heels and I lost all sense of balance, and proceeded to step on, fall on and trip over Ben. Sorry again, Ben.

So many layers to that dress

After a mild panic – and diva moment – that I would be put in a pale pink dress (I am pink, therefore I cannot wear pink), it was decided I would be wearing a purple tulle number which made me resemble something from Disney. No complaints from me.

“Hold it together Amanda”

Despite a couple of missteps on my part, we came away with an honourable mention from the Co-President of Sports and Development at the SU and a solid score of 33 points.

In total, the Latin and Ballroom Society raised an incredible £863 for DanceAid, at the small cost of a couple of blisters I would gladly go through again.