Paradise Found?

Milton Wainwright discovers alien life forms


Sheffield boffins with nerves of steel have announced this week that they have DISCOVERED ALIENS.

The experiment – led by Professor Milton Wainwright – sent a balloon into a meteor shower last month, and it returned with an out of this world discovery.

Disclaimer: actual ‘aliens’ may not look like this

When it came back down in Wakefield, it was carrying microscopic bugs.

The only conclusion is that they were living at 27 miles above the earth.

The Prof said: “Most people will assume that these biological particles must have just drifted up to the stratosphere from Earth, but it is generally accepted that a particle of the size found cannot be lifted from Earth to heights of, for example, 27km.

Milton seems keen

“If life does continue to arrive from space then we have to completely change our view of biology and evolution,” Prof Wainwright added. “New textbooks will have to be written.”

The findings will be published in the Journal of Cosmology.

Will we be getting abducted any time soon? The Tab says: don’t bET on it.