The five best Varsity chants.
The official top five Varsity chants, as compiled by The Tab’s Jake Nelson.
What’s the best thing about Varsity for those not competing? It’s obviously the chants about our unworthy rivals, Hallam.
As it’s that time of year again, The Tab has compiled a list of the best varsity chants that you will hear, sing along too and definitely start.
5. ‘What’s that coming over the hill, it’s unemployment, it’s unemployment’
Simple and harsh but probably about right when you graduate with that Food Engineering degree. And of course, Uni has brilliant job prospects for graduates.
“We all have job offers!”
4. ‘We go somewhere you don’t go, Uni, Uni, We go somewhere you don’t go, University’
We all know Hallam isn’t a proper university, but do they know that? Make sure they do by shouting this at them as loud as possible.
Uni is at the front because they’re the best ones.
3. ‘If I had the wings of a sparrow, if I had the arse of a crow, I’d fly over Hallam tomorrow, and shit on the poly below’
The tune takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s more than worth it to explain how much you want to poo on them. Especially on that awful students’ union building.
Why so serious? Is it because we did a poo on your SU. It is, isn’t it?
2. ‘Give us a D, Give us a D, Give us an E, what do you get? Into Hallam!’
Even less if you want to do a Working with Children, Young People and Families degree, they want three E’s. Eee that’s low.
Maybe don’t talk to these guys about their three Es…
1. ‘Your Dad works for my Dad, nah nah nah nah’
Simple, but effective, and easily tweaked to ‘we pay your benefits, we pay your benefits’ or ‘I’m going to be your boss.’ It’s important those Hallamers know where they stand, after all.
University of Sheffield’s Palestine society holds protest in Sheffield city centre
Max BoothThe protest was jointly organised by the University of Sheffield’s Palestine society and Sheffield Palestine solidarity campaign
Sheffield students resume campus occupations to protest university’s arms industry links
Will BaileyIt’s the first occupation of the academic year
Sheffield Hallam University calls off UCU strikes for the first week back
Amy VarleyThe move was announced in an email to students
University of Sheffield moves up rankings to 18th in UK, according to new league table
The university also ranked in the top five for eight subjects
Five days of strikes to hit both Sheffield universities for the start of term
The new dates fall at the end of September
Future Hallam student was left ‘in limbo’ after being told his grades were lost
The chaos could have impacted his place on Hallam’s photography course
University of Sheffield is the best uni in the country, according to students
Sheffield Hallam didn’t fare as well
Self Esteem headlines cast of Sheffield stars receiving honorary degrees from the uni
‘It’s completely pointless to think you’re anything other than the absolute tits’
University of Sheffield staff warn students could be affected as external examiners drafted in
14 members of staff from the University of Sheffield’s urban studies and planning department signed a letter
Sheffield University is giving £500 to students who are graduating without all their marks
Lia Freeman70 final year students will receive the one-off payment as ‘a gesture of goodwill’
Sheffield universities working with council to tackle rubbish from students moving out
Temporary additional waste collections are in place for 8000 properties
University of Sheffield students could receive empty certificates at graduation
Final marks for some students may not be available until after graduations have taken place
Why Sheffield remains the UK’s largest city without an official Pride event
It has been four years since the Steel City’s last official Pride event
University of Sheffield climbs eight places to rank top 20, according to new league tables
Hallam climbed three places to 63rd
Sheffield Hallam lecturers begin five more days of strike action after pay deductions
The university has deducted all pay from those taking part in the marking and assessment boycott
Confirmed: Both Sheffield universities to be hit by UCU marking boycott from today
The action calls for the boycott of all marking and assessment duties
Applications for The Sheffield Tab’s editorial team are now OPEN!
We’re recruiting a News Editor, Features Editor, and Social Media Editor
University of Sheffield paid private investigators £40,000 to look into student occupations
Phoebe KowhaiThe university has justified its actions by claiming other institutions do the same
Love Island winner Kai returning to Sheffield Hallam to teach an actual Love Island module
Kai got one of his three degrees at Hallam
A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
anotherstephenRemember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera