We shouldn’t forget that sexual assault happens to men too

Sexual assault crime is a growing problem in Sheffield. With one attack happening on Monday evening within metres of the University, and with nearly 300 rapes reported in Sheffield in 2015 alone, it’s a worrying statistic.

But there’s a growing problem, and a problem all too often laughed off or ignored, which is that male students are falling victim to sexual assaults too.

Statistically, men are eight times less likely than women to be sexually assaulted. But it creates a stigma, in that when men are assaulted, it’s presumed “not true” or an “overreaction”.

It’s surprising how when you mention male sexual assault to a male in Sheffield, they’ll most likely have an instance of where they feel they’ve been sexually assaulted.

Speaking to one male, who would prefer to remain anonymous, he said: “There have been at least half a dozen times when I’ve been out at a club in Sheffield and had my crotch grabbed by a girl. One girl even forced her hands down my pants in a completely random attack, and when I looked at her in horror, she laughed and ran off”.

Another male student added: “All too often when things like this happen, men are expected to enjoy it or laugh it off as a bit of banter, but it was really distressing.”

There are instances of boy’s crotches being grabbed by girls, instances of bums being slapped by women along West Street, and even more distressingly, a boy being sat in Corp only to have a random girl force her tongue down his throat.

However, a bug bear they have is that it’s presumed that only girls can be sexually assaulted. They suggest that male sexual assault isn’t taken seriously enough. For example, if a girl went to a bouncer and told them she’d been sexually assaulted, they’d react quickly, whereas boys don’t feel they can speak out about it for fear of being laughed at or called a pussy.

On another occasion, a boy was sexually assaulted in his home by someone he knew. He told The Tab: “I was quite surprised at first, but I was most upset when she told her whole flat that the whole thing had been consensual (which it wasn’t). When my own friends found out, it was used as a bit of banter for them to wind me up about, but they didn’t realise how violated I felt.”

“Imagine if the event had been the other way round? Would all her friends be laughing about it? No, as I’d probably be ostracised from the friendship group and called a pervert.”

He felt violated, and confused as to why it had happened. Had he met the girl before? Had he in some way led her on? He asked the same questions that a girl might ask herself after such an attack. “If a girl told someone they’d be assaulted, she’d be flooded with support, but when it happens to men, our natural inclination is to think that it’s funny or that they’re being hit on.”

Very often, the statistics point towards women being the main victims of sexual assault, but the statistics don’t take into account the assaults that never get reported. It’s easy to believe that these events are rare when a boy is the victim, but they aren’t uncommon. Often the boy feels embarrassed, as though he’s been emasculated, and so reports of attacks often don’t make headlines.

We need to take sexual assault more seriously, regardless of whether it happens to a girl or a boy. We need to stop dismissing it as “a bit of banter” and stamp it out of our culture.

If you’re a boy who has also been sexually assaulted, you can contact RAINN here.