BNOC of the Year 2017: Masters Madheads

Since nominations opened earlier this month, we have been inundated with applications telling us who they think the biggest name on campus has been this year in Sheffield.

After rounding up the creme de la creme of Sheffield first, second and third years, we present you with the finest mature madheads at Sheffield Uni. These BNOCS from fourth year and above are proof that the older you get, the more banter you have.

Freddie Macauley, Chemistry

Freddie was the yellow team tour captain for the Sheffield Sabres and has only missed one Roar this year (due to a drinking ban). Other achievements include being able to squat 190 kgs (or three cheerleaders) and meeting Darude (his proudest moment).

He’s the utility man in his beloved American Football team and in his blossoming career at the multinational McDonald’s Corporation. He loves to spend his time (when he’s not got a big bag of cans) lying in bed with his eyes shut, pretending he’s in another room and surprising himself that he’s actually still in bed when he opens his eyes.

Chris Gee, Business management

Chris is an absolute ski club legend who has always put his Jäger before his studies. He bought a Roar season pass two years ago and went to every Roar without fail, proving this BNOC is a consistent sesher.

Grace Alderson, Architecture

Sheik Nabhan Ahmed, Chemical Engineering

Known by everyone in the department of Chemical Engineering, he is an all round top fucking guy. He has the best memes in the faculty, and has been dubbed “Mr. Engineering”. He is a literal sheik in Bangladesh (his Mother country) but not in his home town of Yately. There he is, just a normal guy, wondering where the next rent cheque is going to come from.

Big Scouse Phil AKA Philip Devine, Maths

Scouse Phil is the definition of a BNOC, an absolute veteran of Endcliffe’s The Edge, where he’s been terrorising and fathering freshers for three whole years. He’s the only man you can recognise from 50 yards away with a token footy shirt, whether it be a Saudi Arabia national shirt or a classic Bayern retro shirt. Combined with the loose fitting Adidas shorts and a well groomed beard, he’s unmissable.

Loud mouthed, good chat and a passion for cheap ciders, Phil is the embodiment of Sheffield. He’s notoriously been “bevving hard at the edge” and running the infamous Sunday Edge Quiz calling out freshers for having bad chat and cheesing them with the notorious “mystery box”. Whether you were in Endcliffe or not, everyone knows this veteran of Sheff uni.

Andy Hodgson, Medicine

Sporty Andy won Man of the Match for the Rugby Union First Fifteen at Varsity after five years playing for the First Team. He also gained promotion into National Two for Sheffield RUFC at Abbeydale after playing in their first 15 for four years at fly half. He has finally discovered beer after five years at university, and really enjoys living an American love story with his girlfriend, the captain of cheerleading.

Laura Brookshaw, MA Buisness Management

Laura, AKA “mortal” is the 5ft version of everything you want to be: Student, rugby girl, barista. Famed for her fancy dress skills in ROAR, this girl can go from Voldemort to Honey Boo Boo with class and style, and not to mention is also popular with the bouncers. But it’s not just in the Union where people anticipate her arrival, Laura can be spotted working at Meadowhall’s Starbucks, where she is famed for making the best frappes and coffees in Sheffield, giving her the title Sheffield “Bean Master”. It’s impossible to walk down the street with her without having to stop five times to talk to people she knows.

She’s not just known as a Roar-goer though, and her table at the Sports Awards is always buzzing with people coming to see her, particularly the Rugby League boys. This girl is the Tour Queen, being on the the winning tour team two years in a row, as well as being “Tourist of the Year”.

In 2016, she was due to fly out to Lloret to meet her teammates, but her flight was cancelled. Unfazed, this BNOC crossed land and sea, travelling on trains, buses and cars to join her mates 36 hours later than expected.

She also once met the actor who played Brian in My Parents Are Aliens in the Cavendish. She accidentally knocked her drink on him then drunkenly rapped Eminem’s Lose Yourself to him on karaoke, all whilst dressed as Snow White. He seemed to take it quite well though, even filming part of her performance.

Joseph Gannon, Chemical Engineering

However, the most outrageous story of Joe is from his design project. With 12 hours left on his 10,000-word third year design project, Joe left the IC vomiting and delirious, only to be hit by a car at the roundabout outside. Rushed to A&E, Joe then had his laptop stolen at the hospital, leaving no hope for his deadline. But when the going gets tough, Joey gets going. Receiving an extension for his project, Joe powered through and received a tasty 2:1 for his efforts.