What your summer festival says about you

Lo and behold, festival season is here again. Having waded our way through the last term, and hopefully not melted in this British heatwave, we find ourselves on the longest day of the year. With Glastonbury happening this weekend and Sheffield’s beloved Tramlines Festival next month, here is everything that your summer festival says about you.

Tramlines

You are the most dedicated person to Sheffield there ever was. When you go home, all you do is tell your friends how much you just love Sheffield and how they have to come and visit you. You spend all your spare time wandering the streets, looking in the vintage stores on Division Street, or going to edgy cafe’s with your mates before bombarding your Instagram with pictures of what you ate with “#ILOVESHEFFIELD” underneath it. Leadmill is your favourite club in Sheffield, but you’re also a fan of Tuesday Club.

Glastonbury

You are everybody’s hero. You are so dedicated to the sesh, that you got your whole flat to try and buy tickets for you the morning they went on sale. You probably went travelling around Bali and South East Asia in the summer before Uni and got a tattoo of a dream catcher on your back. You do your weekly shop at either Beanies in Crookesmoor or New Roots, and have an unhealthy addiction to falafel. 

Leeds/Reading

Your fave Sheffield club is Corp, and not just the Skool Disco. No, no, you are true lover of Corp on Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays. You most definitely dye your hair a darker colour than it really is, and you chose Sheffield out of dedication to the Arctic Monkeys. You study physics.

Hay on Wye

You study English Literature, obviously, and you write your own poetry. You smoke a lot of weed and think about the deeper things in life, such as “What is the true meaning of being in love?” You spend all your time in Western Bank reading Chaucer and God knows what else, and your idea of a great night out is going to the University Arms with Poetry Soc.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPvFRoegsRy/?taken-by=slwilson

Coachella

You are the coolest person in Sheffield. You’ve got a septum piercing, blonde, wavy surfer hair and bronzed skin. You are the envy of everyone on your History of Art course and only got tickets because your High School boyfriend now works for a record label in LA. You get over 100 likes on your Instagrams and have smoked weed with Father John Misty.

Secret Garden Party

RIP.  Your parents are bohemians from Bristol and have been taking you to this festival since it began when you were 10. You’re significantly edgier than the Glastonbury lot, and probably micro-dose on LSD through revision period. You’re very politically active and are a member of the Green Party.

Parklife

Your favourite bands of all time are Oasis, New Order and The Smiths, and you thought Parklife, being in Manchester, would be a massive revival of the 90s in the Hacienda. However, nothing can prepare you for the carnage that happens in Heaton Park.

Benicassim

You’re doing some kind of Modern Foreign Language degree (probs Spanish), and decide to be the edgiest of them all and go abroad for your festival this year. You affectionately call the festival “Benny”, and won’t stop banging on about it for months after. Prepare to get really hot and sweaty and smelly, and also practice your Spanish chat up lines.