An open letter to my fresher self

Dear fresher self,

Since I’ve finished first year, I’ve realised a couple of things that you probably need to know.

I’ve realised that you spent an entire year of your life feeling completely out of your depth and doing some pretty weird things (the memories of which now make me physically cringe).

So, instead of learning those lessons the hard way, here are a couple of things I wish you’d known when you started first year.

Don’t throw up outside your halls in front of EVERYONE right at the start of Fresher’s Week before you’ve even made it to the club

You will never live it down, and photos can live forever. Expect them to adorn your 21st birthday card.

Don’t be this person

Don’t be afraid of coming across as clingy

Guess what? You make friends by spending time with people.  If you’re too worried about coming over as too keen or clingy then chances are you’re going to end up spending a lot of time by yourself. Just get over it.

Don’t write people off too quickly

We’re all guilty of judging books by their covers and yeah, more often than not your first impression of someone is probably right. But sometimes, just sometimes, you’re wrong. Be nice to people and give them a chance.

Equally, don’t waste time trying to be friends with people you have nothing in common with

Sometimes, you just know. Everyone needs friends, but don’t spend all your energy trying to be friends with people that you don’t really like and that probably don’t really like you. You will find the right people, be patient.

You will get chubby (and that’s okay)

Pretty much everyone gets fat in first year.  Even if you think you’re eating healthily, you’re probably still going out at least three times a week and consuming a terrifying amount of calories without even realising. But weight comes and goes and chances are, you can probably lose it as quickly as you gained it (although it won’t be as fun).

At least I was having fun

Learn to love fancy dress

It wasn’t cool at school and it still isn’t really very cool now, but you’re going to have to do it all the time so you may as well get used to it and learn how to do it properly.

They love it

But, don’t wear glitter on every possible occasion

It might have been cool once, but it’s getting a bit basic. And it gets EVERYWHERE.

They still look fit though

Make an effort with your housemates

Even if you can tell from looking at them that you’re not going to be best friends for life, just be nice.  You have to live with these people for at least a year and that’s going to be a lot more pleasant if you all get along. Don’t leave too many passive aggressive notes, get to know them, organise flat dinners and just generally be a nice human being.

Don’t leave notes like this

Never bitch about your housemates

You never know who might know who at uni. Your housemates will find out. And then they will hate you and things will be very, very awkward. Just keep your mouth shut. You really don’t want to learn this lesson the hard way.

Don’t fall asleep during pre-drinks

First year is tiring, you go out a lot. But this is never an excuse to fall asleep at pres. People will take ugly photos of you and think you’re weird.

At least I didn’t spill my drink

Don’t panic if you don’t meet your best friend in Fresher’s Week

It’s the end of Freshers’ Week and you’re scrolling through Instagram looking at photos of all your home friends with their ‘New BFFL #lovethisgal #favourite #unaaaay’. You’re filled with a rising sense of panic and anxiety as you think about everyone you’ve met that week and wonder whether you could be best friends. If you’re really lucky, you might have met your best friend but the chances are that you haven’t and you know what? Lily that you went to school with hasn’t either.  Social media isn’t real life, she’s probably only just met that girl she’s claiming is her new BFFL.

Don’t compare yourself to your friends at other unis

Social media isn’t real. Just because you can’t see them sitting in their tiny single bedroom crying because they miss their mum and panicking because they don’t like any of their new best friends doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it.

It’s not a walk of shame, it’s a stride of pride

You will most likely be met with cheers as you walk through campus at 9am covered it last night’s glitter. Embrace it.

You will learn not to be ashamed of that leftover glitter

You don’t have to throw out all of your clothes and buy an ‘edgy’ wardrobe

You can do, but it will probably be pretty obvious when you’re caught chatting about your pony and last year’s skiing holiday that you’re not the roadman you’re pretending to be. Then you’ll look silly.

Don’t come to uni with a boyfriend/girlfriend

It’s a complete cliche, but unfortunately it’s true. Starting uni is hard enough without trying to maintain a long-distance relationship at the same time. First year is a time for fun, not arguing on the phone and crying in your bedroom.  

Don’t worry about missing induction lectures, or any lectures in fact

Obviously don’t miss every single lecture, but missing a couple isn’t going to do you any harm. Take it from someone who attended pretty much every lecture in first year: you really don’t need to. First year is all about making strategic lecture attendance decisions. Sometimes you need to stay in bed hanging out with your flatmates more than you need to go to that 10am on how to use the library.

Getting drunk with people isn’t the only way to make friends

To be honest, it probably isn’t the best way either. Have dinner together, go for coffee or go on a fun day out. That way, you might actually remember what you talked about the next day.

A prime friend-making opportunity

Don’t listen to people who say ‘Don’t bother working in first year, you only need 40 per cent’

Anyone that tells you they’re just aiming for 40% is either lying or a complete idiot. You need to find a balance between uni work and your social life but actually doing work in first year means you get less of a shock when you start second year. Also, resits are shit.  

Don’t sign for a house until you’ve inspected every inch of it

If a house looks mouldy when you look round, it will probably still be mouldy when you move in. Don’t believe the estate agents, they’re lying. There are other houses. If a house is covered in mould; don’t move in. That way you won’t end up living in a room with a damp and crumbling wall.

You don’t want to live here

Learn to cook

You don’t have to become an amazing cook, but you must learn to cook something. You’ll quickly realise that you can’t live off beans on toast and pesto pasta for the rest of your life.

You don’t have to do everything you’re told to at initiation

I didn’t realise that subtly tipping my drinks away was an option. Guess who was passed out in their own sick by 11pm? Just say no.

This was not fun

Learn what alcohol makes you weird and stop drinking it in front of people you hardly know

In fact, just stop drinking it. You will do horrendously weird and embarrassing things and you may have to avoid certain groups of people for the next three years.

Don’t take yourself too seriously

Go on tacky bar crawls, wear shit fancy dress and humiliate yourself at every possible opportunity. You’re only a fresher once, you may as well do it properly.  

Classic Fresh

You will survive

However scary and overwhelming and weird it feels sometimes, you will survive and you’ll probably even enjoy it too.

If he can survive, so can you