May Ball Guide 2010

In January The Tab produced a hugely popular May Ball Guide to help you decide which extravaganzas you should shell out your money for.

Now, with all the launch parties complete and the first events less than 3 months away, we have updated it for all the late-ordering revellers. Tickets are still on sale at a handful of events although if you’re desperate for the sold out ones it’s worth asking members of the college because some still have internal places.

Friday 11th

ROBINSON

Theme: Folie D’une Nuit (Paris After Dark).
Date: Friday 11th June.
Ticket Price: £70 – SOLD OUT

Last Year
Namedrop: DJ Yoda.
Wow Factor: The food. Dead pig and crackling, beef burritos, duck stir fries, crepes, donuts and a bacon bap for breakfast.
Cellulite: The architecture – Robinson ain’t the prettiest of colleges.
Go if you want to: Start your May Week early with an inexpensive soiree – Robinson’s is the party that kicks off May Week. Get you in the mood for the other, more expensive, more lavish balls.
Avoid if you want to: Wander through ancient courts where the likes of Byron and Marlowe have once wandered themselves.

Sunday 13th

EMMA JUNE EVENT

Theme: Hollywood.
Date: Sunday 13th June.
Ticket price: £65.

Last Year
Namedrop: Chase and Status, Artful Dodger, those guys from ‘The Inbetweeners’.
Wow factor: Casino, Helter Skelter, entire orchestra serenaded us whilst we queued for entrance. Electronic-clay-pigeon shooting.
Cellulite: Ran out of non-alcoholic drink at many tents so one was obligated to get battered. The silent disco short on headphones so had to share and look like Siamese twin.
Go if you want to: Dance all night. Eat all night. Drink all night.
Avoid if: You want to shoot real pigeons.

Monday 14th

CLARE

Theme: Scheherazade (Arabia)
Date: Monday 14th June.
Ticket Price:  £120 – SOLD OUT

Last Year
Namedrop: Feeder. And they were fucking amazing.
Wow factor: Feeder playing and ball’s décor in general. There was even a Chinese lion-dancing troupe. Not something you see everday.
Cellulite: The masseuses should have run all night.
Go if you want to: Experience Clare at its most beautiful.
Avoid if: You’re determined to go to Trinity or Jesus.

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TRINITY

Theme: Unthemed.
Date: Monday 14th June.
Ticket price: £285 (for a pair) – SOLD OUT

Last Year:
Namedrop: Wiley and Athlete.
Wow factor: A punt filled with proper champagne served all night is a novelty compared to most other balls. Also, an oyster bar.
Cellulite: The Trinity queue to get in was horrendous and led to some people missing the fireworks. The chocolate fountain ran out very early, not good for those seeking their 3 o’clock sugar fix.
Go if you want to: Bask in the extravagance of a beautifully-executed May Ball.
Avoid if: You want that hard core party atmosphere, this will be too restrained for your tastes.

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JESUS

Theme: A Night at the Circus
Date: Monday 14th June
Ticket Price: £110/£142 dining – SOLD OUT

Last year
Name Drop:  The Go! Team, Little Boots and Hadouken (DJ Set).
Wow factor: The free pink umbrellas in the queue, steak sandwiches, and the amazing design features transforming an already beautiful college into a magical wonderland.
Cellulite: Mid-night trips to Tesco were required after booze stocks depleted more rapidly than expected, music stopped early due to complaints from boring neighbours.
Go if you want to: Have a more relaxed, genuinely enjoyable experience.
Avoid if: You’re not willing to persuade those with tickets to swap/sell one to you – the ball has already sold out (within 11 minutes of tickets going on sale!)

Tuesday 15th

ST. JOHN’S

Theme: TBA (Last year’s was ‘Voyages of Discovery’).
Date: Tuesday 15th June.
Ticket price: £275 (for a pair). Applications for Johnnians only.

Last Year
Namedrop: Calvin Harris and the Puppini Sisters.
Wow factor:  Whether it was supposed to be the Pacific Islands, Antarctica or the Indian subcontinent, each court looked fantastic. Sensational fireworks.
Cellulite: Queues for the few loos provided were outrageous, the simulator was a complete let-down and real champagne was not served throughout.
Go if you want to: Although perhaps not quite as polished as Trinity, fun and visual delectation were the order of the day and no other firework display will ever seem the same again.
Avoid if: Drum and bass is your thing, or you like balls with a more intimate feeling or an early bed – this ball is not for the faint-hearted party animal.

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CHRIST’S

Theme: Parisian-themed ‘L’Espirit Nouveau’.
Date: Tuesday 15th June.
Ticket price: £110 – SOLD OUT

Last Year: Bienniel event.

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NEWHAM JUNE EVENT

Theme: Cirque du Soir – ‘a sophisticated French and Chinese circus’.
Date: Tuesday 15th June.
Ticket Price: £70

Last Year
Name Drop: Ball was cancelled.
Wow factor: Promises of a fairground, jugglers, stilt-walkers, comedy shows, henna artists, masseurs and caricaturists.
Cellulite: The last planned May Ball was cancelled due to a lack of publicity and poor organisation…
Go if you want to: Try something new, or experience a May Ball style atmosphere at June Event prices.
Avoid if: You don’t like being outnumbered by girls.

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CAIUS

Theme:  The Seasons
Date: Tuesday 15th June.
Ticket price: £125 – SOLD OUT

Last year: Biennial event
What’s promised?: An autumn Fete with Croquet and Champagne, some good old summer revelry and a winter palace.

Wednesday 16th

KING’S AFFAIR

Theme: TBA (2009 – ‘Hedonopolis’).
Date: Wednesday 16th June.
Ticket price: £63 – SOLD OUT

Last Year
Namedrop: Nobody big: King’s Affair prioritises a low ticket price over expensive crowd-pulling Ents.
Wow factor: Rave in the world-famous Chapel, and being able to wear fancy dress in May Week.
Cellulite: The queues for food were simply ridiculous – don’t go to King’s Affair on an empty stomach. By 3am every caterer had left apart from one poor woman serving crepes; she had a 15-deep queue to serve and a riot erupted when she ran out of Nutella.
Go if you want to: Take the piss out of the more pretentious side of May Week and get absolutely wasted with a group of mates.
Avoid if: You only ‘do’ Champagne in May Week. John’s May Ball this is not.

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TIT HALL JUNE EVENT

Theme: Twisted Tales.
Date: Wednesday 16th June.
Ticket price: £70.

Last Year
Namedrop: One girl in attendance said, “I was too drunk to remember and didn’t really care; I don’t think anyone else did either.” Enough said.
Wow factor: Design (lighting and decoration), fire eaters, themed foods (as well as the classic hog roast!) and loads of booze.
Cellulite: No big name acts and (this is unbelievable) one Tit-haller is quoted as saying “there was perhaps too much alcohol…” What?!
Go if you want to: Round off your May Week frivolity by dancing the night away with lots of fun, friendly people for a fraction of the cost of a May Ball.
Avoid if: You’d prefer to see a semi-famous band (that you can later unjustifiably boast to your mates about), and sit in a punt sipping champagne. Or if you’re not a massive fan of the Cindies brigade.

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ST. CATHARINE’S

Theme: Make Believe. (2008 – ‘Narnia).
Date: Wednesday 16th June 2010.
Show me the money: £112.

Last Year
Namedrop: 2008 – ‘I Am Kloot’ and ‘Scratch Perverts’. Plus Catz have a member of the esteemed ‘Blueprint’ among their numbers – Ed Stevenson (get in?).
Wow factor: 2008 – a bucking Bronco; the micro-ice rink on the small patch of grass outside the college’s main gates.
Cellulite: When the sun comes up, expect to realise that the 70s block of student accommodation tagged incongruously onto antiquated buildings looks even worse than you do at this heinous hour.
Go if you want: To avoid spending your night lost in a series of courts which lead onto courts which lead onto bridges which lead into you ending up in the Cam (Catz is on the petite side); to bag a Blueprint member.
Avoid if: You like your balls more, “seventh best party in the world,” (‘Time Magazine’ on St John’s May Ball) less, “seventh best party in May Week”.

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SIDNEY SUSSEX

Theme: La Serenissima.
Date: Wednesday 16th June.
Ticket price: £110 – SOLD OUT

Last Year
Namedrop: The Young Knives.
Wow factor: 15m tall fire trees, shooting huge fireballs into the sky every now and then.
Cellulite: Not everyone being able to squeeze into the music venue to see infamous DJ and MC Garage act ‘Oxide & Neutrino’.
Go if you want to: Have an unpretentious but unforgettable experience.
Avoid if: You’re looking for your ‘typical’ May Ball, complete with punts o’ champagne, oysters and a half-hour-long firework display.

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PEMBROKE JUNE EVENT

Theme: ‘Over The Ocean’ (an Island Paradise)
Date: Wednesday 16th June.
Ticket price: £55 – SOLD OUT

Last Year
Namedrop: Metronomy.
Wow factor: Champagne supplies outlasted the ball guests, still freely flowing at 6am.
Cellulite: The ice sculpture melted. Massive fail. Also a lack of energy drinks meant some guests flagged.
Go if you want to: Bask in the simply gorgeous college grounds.
Avoid if: You’re the type who’d prefer the boozier June Events (King’s, Tit Hall) and don’t want to wear Black Tie.

Thursday 17th

HOMERTON JUNE EVENT

Theme: Carnival.
Date: Thursday 17th June.
Ticket price: £50 (must be bought through Homerton students)

Last Year:
Namedrop:  Noah and The Whale, High Contrast.
Wow factor: The ability to see up close a car suitable for Bond himself.
Cellulite: Lacks the prestige of other balls.
Go if you want to: Go to an event on Thursday night (it’s the only one!), hang out with the fittest girls in Cambridge.
Avoid if: You want to walk someone home in the morning (it’s a 30 minute walk from town, and that’s sober)