The Theatre Guide Dog Awards Michaelmas 2011
THE THEATRE GUIDE DOG decides it’s time for giving some awards to some plays.
Thesps, audience, comments-cunts, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Cam-theatre, not to praise it.
The evil that shows do live after them;
The good is often interred with the curtain-close.
But hey, everyone loves goodies. And I’ve been informed some of you have worked very, very hard this term, so I’ll allow it. And if there’s any faction of Cambridge society which needs more back-patting and flattery, it’s the theatre scene, right?
Best Show
We’ll start nice and easy, shall we? I know some of you are a little slow now term’s over. Some of you are also just a little slow. But that’s OK.
A Night with Joe Rubini and the Spooks
Worst Slating
For the most schadenfreude proffered from an online piece of writing since 16 May 2011.
Worst Response to a Review
I know how much you like crying about reviews. Some of you do it so hard/loudly/disgustingly I thought you even deserved a prize for it. Sort of.
The Spirit of Theatre Award
A shiny new award, for those of you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed enough to pay attention. It isn’t always the flashiest or the expensive-est or the loudest shows which show the most cojones. The most ambition. The most innovation. The most spirit. It isn’t even always the most good shows. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. (I do, I’m just not telling you. Work it out yourselves.)
Most Incorrect Review
Think you can do our job better than us, you scum of the comments section? Well you can’t. But we’ll let you feebly attempt to get one back at us, whether it be for our blazing criticism or our swashbuckling style – whichever you found yourself least able to handle. Your turn to try and make one of us cry. Go on, I dare you.
Voting closes on Friday 16th December at midnight. Results will be announced the following day. Oh. And uh, Merry Christmas I guess.
Daisy O'Connor
James Hyde
Five reasons why Medwards is the best college at Cambridge University
Jessica SpearmanThere’s more to us than ‘that one on the hill’
‘Students were not being used as pawns’: The key take-aways from the UCU open meeting
Eleanor LewisThe fight back against casual, insecure working conditions continues
Double trouble: The twin experience at university
Sophie TallonA reflection on the university experience as a twin
Fitz Winter Ball is giving May Balls a run for their money
Esther KnowlesWith Tinchy Stryder headlining, Fitz Winter Ball is the ‘Number 1’ event happening in Michaelmas
Lucy Barber
Leah Whiting
How to matricu-slay: A reflection on my matriculation at Cambridge University
Tally ArundellIts official! I’ve entered the depths of hell…I mean Cambridge
Cambridge University’s King’s College covered in orange paint in Just Stop Oil protest
The demonstration is one of a series of attacks on UK universities such as Manchester and University College London
Seven things I’ve learnt as a Cambridge Fresher
April O'NeillIn the words of Danny Dyer – what have I got meself into?
University of Cambridge is nothing without its students
We need to give ourselves more credit; University of Cambridge is nothing without us
Sandi Toksvig appointed Qantabrigian Bye-Fellow at Christ’s College
Sightings of former bake-off star around Cambridge explained
Six things I learnt about Cambridge when visiting other universities
The Cambridge quirks become so obvious!
From freebies to societies, how to make the most of Cambridge’s Freshers’ Fair
Lisa Hana DelaneyGoing once is never enough
Student activists arrested for Schlumberger protest
OCRA and XR activists were apprehended by police
Five things you might not realise about living in Cambridge year round
Moving every item across main site makes life worth living
Your guide to surviving Cambridge Freshers’ Week
Freya JohnThe excuse ‘I’m just a silly fresh’ will be your best friend
anotherstephen
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight