Football Cuppers: Pembroke reveal their lineup for the final

Fergus Kent (Goalkeeper)

A 2013 Blue, Fergus credits his success to the brief course of ballroom dancing lessons which he attended in first year. Such is his value to the side that he was chauffeured from Northampton to Cambridge for the semi-final after attending a 21st in Blackpool.

Subject: Law

Kindred footballing spirit: Peter Schmeichel

James Weber (Goalkeeper)

Famous for his authoritarian approach to the captaincy of the PCAFC 2nd XI, Weber has nonetheless proved a capable understudy to Kent and kept a clean sheet when called upon against Emmanuel.

Subject: Natural Sciences

Kindred footballing spirit: Carlo Cudicini

Mark Bittlestone (Defence)

A renowned ‘tryer’, Mark has played every game for Pembroke this season. A right back who can defend and attack with equal facility, he provides balance and panache to the team’s back four.

Subject: History

Kindred footballing spirit: Lilian Thuram

Jamie King (Defence)

Such is Jamie’s agility that Las Vegas’s famous ‘Cirque du Soleil’ have offered him a job as a contortionist on completion of his Clinical Medicine Degree. Another ever-present in Pembroke’s back four, Jamie hopes to end his Pembroke career with cuppers victory, having previously played in 3 losing semi-finals.

(the one holding the ball)

Subject: Clinical Medicine

Kindred footballing spirit: David Luiz

Matt Hudson (Defence)

When not galavanting off on stag weekends in Prague, Hudders is a towering presence in Pembroke’s defence. His considerable footballing ability is alas not matched by his eye for a flutter, having made a sizable and ill-advised bet that Arsenal would finish outside the Champions League places this season and that their place would be taken by Southampton

Subject: Economics

Kindred footballing spirit: Ricardo Carvalho

Tom Ogier (Defence/Midfield)

Channel Islander Tom has made a meteoric rise this season. Curiously, he started this year as a 3rd XI (bottom of Div 6 with 1 point and a goal difference of -29) player, before someone realised that he was really good at football and promoted him straight to the 1st XI. Tom’s effectiveness is diminished only by the fact that he often has to leave at half time to play Badminton (at which he is also extremely good).

Subject: Natural Sciences

Kindred footballing spirit: Graham Le Saux

Harry McNeill Adams (Defence)

A defender described by various sources as ‘Bramblesque’, ‘angry’ and ‘frankly unpleasant to play football either with or against’, his season included a 15 minute spell on the left wing where he looked about as comfortable as a hippo competing in the Winter Olympic Figure Skating competition.

Subject: History

Kindred Footballing spirit: Chris Morgan (violent Sheffield United centre back of the early-mid 2000s)

Rory Scott (Defence/Midfield)

Captain, engine room, spiritual leader, Rory Scott has bestrode Pembroke football like a Colossus this season. He forms part of a deadly midfield three along with Carroll and Hinksman.

Subject: Law

Kindred footballing spirit: Javier Mascherano

George Hinksman (Midfield)

When not on the lash with former Archibshop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, George is at the heart of Pembroke’s creativity in the centre of the park. He will be looking to add to the 4 goals he scored against a hapless Churchill side.

Subject: Natural Sciences

Kindred footballing spirit: Yaya Toure

John Carroll (Midfield)

Don’t be fooled by JC’s easygoing demeanour, for he is a fierce competitor with an extremely strong beard. His greatest achievements this season have been creating and scoring loads of goals and, more impressively, victory in PCAFC’s internal game of ‘wizard’s staff’ last Sunday.

Subject: Maths

Kindred footballing spirit: David Silva

Joël Reland (Defence/Midfield)

Representative of a new breed of footballing hipster, Reland’s cultured approach to football has seen him make a huge impact wherever he has played, whether at full back, centre midfield or on the wing.

Subject: History

Kindred Footballing Spirit: Xabi Alonso

Olly Layton (Attack)

An elusive presence both for opposition defences and his own captains, Layton became the first player in history to miss a crucial league match for a romantic mini break to Kent. After almost scoring with an audacious chip 10 minutes into his PCAFC 1st XI debut, he has made himself a permanent fixture in the squad.

Subject: Classics

Kindred Footballing Spirit: Samir Nasri

Peter Harries (Attack)

Former PCAFC Captain Pete Harries has had dreadful luck this season, hitting the crossbar at least once a game while creating chances galore for others around him. One of the hardest workers and most versatile players in the team, Pete hopes to win Cuppers after defeats in 2 semi finals and 1 quarter final.

Subject: Clinical Medicine

Kindred Footballing Spirit: Franck Ribery

Quinn Coan (Midfield/Attack)

On loan from Occidental College this year, Quinn has added pace, skill and determination in equal measures. Like Bittlestone, Quinn is equally comfortable in defence and attack and contributes a great deal to Pembroke’s ability to defend from the front.

Subject: HSPS

Kindred Footballing Spirit: Dani Alves

Marcus Nielsen (Attack)

Fresher Marcus Nielsen has made a great addition to an already superb squad. With an incredible 21 goals in 12 games and 8 in 4 in the cup including 5 hat tricks, he is sure to give Jesus’s defence a torrid night.

Subject: Maths

Kindred Footballing Spirit: The great Lionel Messi

The final will kickoff at 7pm this evening (Friday) at the University Rugby ground on Grange Road, it should be a great atmosphere!