Review: Law Ball 2014

Of all the balls outside of May Week, the annual Law Ball is surely one of the most eagerly anticipated.

This is probably something to do with the plethora of international law firms who sponsor it, vying desperately for the attention of any soon-to-be Cambridge graduates who have even the faintest interest in 20-hour working days and partaking in ‘magic roundabouts’ (sadly, Urban Dictionary informs me these are nowhere nearly as fun as they sound).

You’d be forgiven for forgetting to realise the entire thing took place in a barn

And decadence was, truly, delivered – alongside, to my begrudging acknowledgement, great company. Whether that’s partly because of the distinct lack of breathlessly keen and alcohol-intolerant Freshers (Law Soc can seem like a bit of an enclosed if-you’re-in-you’re-in club, let’s admit it), I leave for you to decide.

From the champagne reception upon arrival at the fabulous Childerley Hall Barn, to the ice sculpture moon, to the delicious and seemingly spontaneous cocktail inventions served by the dashing La Raza team, it seems the committee left absolutely no room for error.

Temptation to lick it and see if tongue stuck was simply uncontrollable

The dinner itself was at once classy and luxurious (although, sadly, the glitter-encrusted champagne bottle centrepieces proved to be empty props) and had the relaxed, carpe diem atmosphere of a raucous formal. The provision of disposable cameras at each table were a great ice breaker for getting up and making friends with the nearest vaguely photogenic stranger.

If only there was real champagne inside… what lies

The entertainment did not fail to impress, either. Guests were enthralled by the fabulous performance of a Soho-sourced drag queen, charmed by the eclectic band of local talent (including a jaw-dropping performance by lead guitarist Omar Diagon Ali), then, once the atmosphere became one of absolute drunken debauchery, cut shapes to well-chosen club tracks.

Who knew the human body could bend in such places

The early closure (and questionable quality) of the toastie booth was a tad annoying, but forgivable given the decadent milk and white chocolate fountains which ran on almost until 3am. But by that point, no one gave much of a fuck any more, and the general atmosphere of the coaches back to Queen’s Backs was one of happy, intoxicated bliss and absolute satisfaction.

Food and drink: 

4.5/5

Possibly the best milk chocolate cheesecake known to man

Wow factor:

5/5

Value for money: 

5/5

There was also a cameo appearance by John Lennon reincarnate

Star attraction: 

The fabulous drag queen performance, and his total willingness to hang out with and be fondled by drunk strangers in photos afterwards

Definitely almost touching his willy. Oops

Biggest turn off: 

Shitty disabled-access portaloo ‘decorated’ with an anglepoise… round the corner from lavish 5*-hotel-esque proper toilets complete with yet more sparkly bottles

No but seriously… why the angle poise?

I take it all back. Lawyers know how to party. These 5 stars are truly well-deserved.