Lean mean thieving machine strikes ADC – for a fridge

No, not sighs… but wails of grief.

These are the chilling sounds you would have heard emanating from the ADC Theatre yard and Corpus Playroom this weekend, when a fridge, belonging to the production team of Lean, Corpus Mainshow week 1, disappeared into the thin, frosty, January air.

Technical manager of the ADC Ian said he last saw the fridge at around 1600 hours on Friday afternoon.

Later that evening, at approximately 2100 hours, the director, Robbie Taylor Hunt, and assistant director, Bea Svistunenko, arrived at the ADC Theatre yard in order to paint the set… but the fridge had vanished.

Since the fridge’s disappearance, sources have said that production relations with management have become somewhat frosty* and the cold shoulder has been given to many of those seeking to find the fridge.*

This is the only piece of evidence found at the scene of crime

The show’s producer, Gabriel Agranoff, is a broken shell of a man.

He hasn’t been answering his calls in the last 24 hours and is feared missing.

Assistant producer Eleanor Mitchell says: “I hope he’s okay, he’s currently quite fragile. We’re not sure if he’s going to pull through”.

He was last seen foetal and sobbing in the scene dock on Friday night.

The leads of Lean, Rose Reade and Gabriel Cagan are emotional, quivering wrecks: “The fridge was an integral part of the show, and we’d been rehearsing with it for weeks!

“I don’t think I can fully comprehend and engage with my character anymore.”

A generous reward has been offered by the show’s director, Robbie Taylor Hunt.

“The first person to locate the missing fridge will be receive a comp ticket to the show, a meet-and-greet with me and the cast, a signed copy of BOTH posters, and a fridge magnet”.

If you have any information about the whereabouts of the fridge, or would like to (possibly) watch someone pretend to be a fridge in its place on stage at the Corpus Playroom, Lean premiers tomorrow evening.

*they haven’t really. Sometimes we have to lie to make puns work.