The Cambridge Experience © – Now only £9000!

The Cambridge Experience © – Get yours today!

With a recommended retail price of £3000– boy, do we have a special offer for you! For an unlimited time only, The Official Cambridge Experience ™ © is on sale for £9000!*

Platform included only for those with a promo code and outrageous views. No refunds.

Included with this unique product is:

• Stress
• Crying wistfully on a bridge surrounded by churches
• Essay deadlines**
• Insomnia
• Crying wistfully on a church surrounded by bridges

As part of The Cambridge Experience © ™ ®, we let you pay us £9000 + maintenance bills, and all you have to do is remember to be grateful for it!

The Cambridge Experience ™ has a unique feedback system: we give you feedback on whether you’re acting grateful enough for this opportunity. Tip: you’re probably whinging.

Purchase your unachievable narrative today – The ©ambridge Experience © ® ™ – by calling 012837213, that’s 01283©GDBC+=183.

The Cambridge Experience Ltd is a family run company with an ethos based in tradition. Before 1948, we did not allow women to join, and our family line propagated itself through a mixture of self-sustaining nepotism, in-breeding, and privilege.

Our motto is Antiquus!

Get your The Cambridge Experience Ltd © ® ™ today – now in more colours!

Here at The Cambridge Experience Ltd, we know that everyone faces different challenges – so we’ve decided it would be easier to generalise to support just the experience of cis upper class white men.

Blue has proved a time-favoured colour – easy to colour code with Week 5! But we now offer an array of fresh colours to suit all kinds, such as women, and other check boxes the government insists upon.

We even offer new and improved customer service! Formerly in Ancient Greek, in response to complaints about poor access, we’ve translated it into Latin!

Terms and Conditions: Product contains nuts ideology. Risk of choking on large parts of this experience. No refunds. This does affect your statutory rights. 

*Postage and Packaging Not Included

**Essay Not Included