Student produces documentary protesting against college food

Student filmmaker Ron Mulvey has released a trailer for his upcoming documentary about the food prices and portions at Jesus College, titled “Caff: An Inconvenient Truth”.

Ron Mulvey, a second year psychology student at Jesus College, is a regular consumer and critic of food at Jesus’ cafeteria, informally known as “Caff”. But one day, he decided to take action.

“The portions are very small and the food is overpriced. On top of that, we pay a very high Kitchen Fixed Charge every term.”

“I wanted to make this documentary because Jesus College is the third richest college in Cambridge yet so many people are coming out of Caff hungry. This didn’t seem to add up. I mean, we’re not exactly Churchill College. Actually, I’ve been to Churchill College, and the food is better and, more importantly, I was full. Something was fundamentally wrong. As I walked through college, I could hear hushed voices of discontent, but I could also sense people were afraid to stand up to the establishment.”

The trailer for the documentary, which will be released in full “within a fortnight”, has already got nearly 1200 views and has been widely praised by the student body of the college.

Like Al Gore, only with a more important message

Jesus fresher Mohsen Elabbadi, clearly supportive of Ron’s message, commented on the video: “no longer will crippling injustice continue to manifest itself in the snake like form of sub-nutritious portions and unaffordable condiments. Ron, you are a true visionary, as well as an inspiration to all of us who dare to dream of something better.”

The video also cropped up on a Facebook group for Regent’s Park College, Oxford.

When Ron heard about the spread to Oxford he said he was “very surprised but honoured. Maybe this is more of a widespread issue than I thought. Anyway, I’m happy that the fire of the revolution is spreading.”

Varsity Condiment Protest 2016

Ron initially planned to take a more conventional route in tackling this problem by running for Services Officer for the Jesus College Student Union, but pulled out of the race just before elections were due to take place.

His manifesto was almost entirely focused on the issues surrounding Caff and made no attempts to conceal his resentment. Ron was particularly angry about condiment pricing, having notoriously smuggled ketchup into Caff on several occasions in order to avoid what he labelled “the ketchup tax”.

“In an age when McDonalds and even Spoons offer free unlimited ketchup, it was heart-breaking to see such a loving college charging students 20p for a squirt.” This “tax” has now been removed, with many believing that this was due to pressure from students.

Some who face injustice cling to a weapon, Ron clings to his ketchup

The Tab have contacted the Domestic Bursar of the college on the matter but he is yet to respond. However, many around the college believe the catering department have already seen the trailer.

“I’ve heard whispers in the wind that it has been shared around by the admin staff, and the JCSU President has told me that the Manciple has seen it as well. My goal is a private viewing with the master, with a special Q&A session at the end.”

Ron’s account seems to hold sway as Patrick Sylla, one of the interviewees, claims Caff staff have looked at him in a different way since his starring role. He described himself as “a martyr” for the cause.

Ron, who is on the CineCam committee, decided instead to channel his enthusiasm for film-making into reforming Caff.

“I love eating food and I love making films. It was only natural that my two biggest passions in life would come together. When I look back at the history books, it tells me that real change happens when people stand up and say loudly and clearly that enough is enough. I’d like to think I’m like a half-Japanese Bernie Sanders.

“On a more serious note though, I would like this to be the first of many videos to come. I am in the process of writing a short film and setting up a society in Jesus called Radigund TV to get more videos like this produced in college.”

However, the students of Jesus College seem to have other ideas..

The mouthpiece of the people

With such admiration and talent, you wonder how he didn’t make it onto The Tab BNOC list