6 people in Cambridge who have given up

Lots more people are stressed about not being stressed about exams. Some of you, after reading this, will probably be stressed that you’re not stressed enough about not being stressed about exams. These people are all of those things at once. 

6. This person who thinks osmosis is legitimate revision technique.

The book is called Small Places Large Issues… how apt…

 This guy wearing a neon green polo shirt that has no aesthetic merit but is quite good for letting other larger vehicles know where you are at night.

5. This guy playing tennis in a pink cable-knit turtleneck on the hottest day of the year. 

I wonder what David Attenborough would have to say about him. ‘What a pillock’ I suspect…

He is also wearing a headband and the sort of sunglasses only generally owned by Range Rover driving women who live ‘just outside Fulham’ whose life is one long journey to or from a coffee morning.

4. This person who has fallen asleep under the photocopier

I wanted to use the scanner but decided against waking the poor thing up. I’ll leave her, and then put a picture of her sleeping on the internet.

She seems to be scanning her keyboard. Interesting… Also, the only plausible explanation for wearing that raincoat inside is to stop the tears from going all over your work.

3. This man who woke up, put on a helmet and then had three bottles of Glen’s for breakfast 

When this photo was taken he was explaining to some passersby that gold is a sacred metal and that trading it was sacrilege.

All style points to this man for the late 90s grunge look. Dark boots, black cargo pants and a cycle helmet. You might have seen him around Cambridge but you’ve definitely heard him shouting at different colleges about how he is going to burn them down. Rumour has it he went to Durham… (as of yet unconfirmed).

2. Me

You wot m8 Tracey Emin

I have given up. So much that two of the people who ‘have given up’ in an article I wrote instead of doing work were me. Am I lazy? Probably, but I see it as a form of Gonzo journalism.

1. This girl

Did you also imagine the rest of the numbers on the cabinet between 132 and 136? No? You’re probably still sane.

This girl has managed to make lethargy and hopelessness stylish. She’s answered the question ‘how is revision going?’ so many times this past week she decided to have this made.

Very millenial. Very Tumblr. Very Chic.