May-Ballers of the Week

What happens when you release revision-addled Cantabs from their work, ply them with alcohol, and make them dress up?

No, not cultural appropriation, you cynical reader.

May week has been and gone, and The Tab Cambridge has trawled through the thousands of photos to bring you our May-Ballers of the Week. The cocktails have been consumed, and all of the mishaps and antics have been immortalised on The Tab as a lesson for future generations to pace themselves with the bevs.

After a rigorous selection process (looking through a few photos before too much boredom), we bring you our May-Ballers of the Week:

Squads of the Week

Let’s begin with one of our most prestigious categories. Leaving Cambridge with a first, a rowing-blue, or a soulmate – all come second to finding that killer squad.

#rainbowsquad

Chinos, chinos everywhere the eye can see

Is that the Mo-bot? Or the ‘M’ from YMCA? We’ll never know.

Cheeky head massage right there

Best dressers of the Week

Where better to look for our Best Dressers than King’s Affair, where this year’s theme was psyche. Judging by most of their outfits, they need their heads examining #burn

You horn-ey devil

Runners up:

I will steal your soul

Among the devils and darkness, there was light

Photobooth antics of the Week

In the photobooth, the clock is ticking, and the pressure is on for a memorable photo. Here’s what our winners came up with, and memorable they were.

Give me blue VK

Runners up:

These girls should advertise for Lola’s cupcakes

Most serious funfair competitor of the Week

“I don’t care if it’s only a bit of fun, that Minion toy is mine”. May Balls are not for the faint-hearted. Fairground games are meant to be taken more seriously than Tripos exams.

Crushing that coconut shy while nonchalantly sucking on a lolly-pop. She doesn’t give a fuck

Runners up:

We could be here all night

Pure rage

Awkward petting zoo photo of the Week

When the may ball committee thinks holding a tarantula will make for a fun take home photo and ur like

I’m dying inside, can you tell?

Runner up:

So much awkwardness, all constrained to one photo

Couple of the Week

Emma May Ball brought us a proposal this year. Was it for a college marriage or real marriage? It doesn’t matter.

Will you share essay notes to freshers with me for as long as we both shall live?

We’re guessing she said yes.

The Tab makes love happen. We’re not so bad.

Runners up:

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a bubble in Cambridge? They know the feeling.

I wanna zorb and chill with you

It’s a NO from us

May Balls cost the best part of 200 pounds. Therefore, to all of those who spent their ball on their phones (and believe us, there were quite a few) instead of enjoying the atmosphere, it’s a no from us.

Brb just updating my snapchat story. It’s only 90 seconds long

Runner up:

To reiterate, 200 pounds. Stop flagging. It’s a NO from us.

No survivors’ photo for him

Most edgy sculpture of the Week

Food and drink, check. Music, check. The only thing missing is a few bamboo shoots taped to some Christmas lights. Can someone call up the Architecture department?

There we go

Runner up:

What does Praeternaturalia mean again?

Veterans of the Week

Who said May Balls were only for students? The Cantabs of yesteryear are great fun. You know, when they’re not voting to destroy the UK and all. Don’t get FOMO, find your veteran for next year now at seekingarrangement.com.

Cutest photo ever

Runners up:

Having a BALL of a time

And finally, our May-Ballers of the Week

Could YOU be one of this year’s winners? Find out below:

Entering the great unknown

Much edge. Very May Week

We might be about to find out what the great unknown is

There you have it, Cambridge. Summer has arrived, and the Tab hasn’t stooped low enough to bring you ‘Interns of the Week’ just yet. 

Photo credits: Caius: John McLean Christ’s: QTy photography Dan Zhang, Zhou Ou, Rupert Newman, Johannes Hjorth Emma: Freddie Dyke Homerton: Gwilym Rowbottom Photography, William J Morris Jesus: Chris Williamson Pembroke: Lafayette photography King’s Affair: Julieta Sarmiento Photography Newnham: Freddie Dyke Robinson: Tom Porteous, Simon Schofield Trinity Hall: Qiuying Giulia Lai, Aiden Chan.