Clubbers of the Week 3

In honour of RAG’s impending Great British Date Off, the Tab have been sieving through all your half-baked photographic disasters in order to bring another roundup of Cambridge’s best and worst to the table.

We’ve seen every unfortunate spillage, every roving tongue, and every soggy bottom – so read on to see if you’ve made it onto the roasting tray this week.

Squad of the Week

Bending over backwards for Tripos like

Lads of the Week

Finger-lickin’ good

It’s a solid effort from the guy on the far right, but the level of sobriety which he’s managed to muster for this photo doesn’t make up for his friends’ total lack of coordination. The Tab would like to point out to the gentleman with ginger hair that his rugby lad demeanour is being severely compromised by the ’40 year-old mum in a photobooth’ tongue.

Runner Up

Do you even lift?

An impressive feat of strength as the Cantab successfully carries four VKs.

Third Wheel of the Week

I want whatever the pink girl at the back is taking

We all know how annoying it is to go clubbing with your coupley friends, so I admire both the optimism and the resilience of the girl on the left. It looks as though her efforts soon paid off…

Runner Up

A rose between two thorns.

Cringe of the Week

Taste test

When your friend is acting like a total psycho and you have to pretend not to notice

Time of her life, apparently

Wtf of the Week

The world of Cambridge clubbing is many things, but while the music might be predictable the people often aren’t. These clubbers leave us with questions.

Which came first, the Cantab or the existential crisis?

Secret society handshake?

Townie of the Week

Sometimes it can be hard to remember that not everyone in the city is a student – unless you’re in the habit of braving Spoons, in which case it’s hard to remember that not everyone is a balding sexually-frustrated creep. But regardless of the (in)validity of the town/gown divide, I think we’re all going to have to admit that we can never be as cool as this guy:

My idea of a balanced diet

And finally, Clubber of the Week goes to…

If a man screams during Circle of Life and nobody’s able to hear him, did it ever actually happen?

We could all learn a lot from this fellow here – he’s basically a one-step instruction manual for expressing your emotions.

That’s all for this week – could you be featured in next week’s installment?