VOTE NOW: Cambridge’s Best Bums 2017

Clive, studying Classics at Robinson

Relinquishing all known restraints upon notions of corporeal control, Clive muses over the endurance of the cobble in the contemporary age, when confronted with the alternative infrastructural option of a more aesthetically and viscerally gratifying choice of masonry.

Vita, studying Law at Caius

Endeavouring to divine the metaphysical and remedial qualities of foliage, Vita perserveres in the face of ennui, resolute in her pursuit to resolve the fleeting existential crises which arise in the weeks of cross-seasonal uncertainty.

Morgan, studying Engineering at Trinity

Standing with an semblance of rakishness, Morgan repudiates the stylistic tendencies symptomatic of the post-modern condition through a synergy of hauteur and vivacity, unpreoccupied by the procilivities of the modern jeunesse.

Vanessa, studying History of Art at Christ's

Inexorably consumed by the polemics about seasonally appropriate accessorising, Vanessa ruminates over the momentousness of millinery consistency in an age otherwise invariably blinded by a consumer culture characterised by the faddism of planned obsolescence.

Leonard, studying Medicine at Fitzwilliam

Gravitating away from monolithic assumptions about the linear teleology of the chronological, Leonard decries the self imposed constraints which culminate from our voluntary self-abegnation in the face of temporal and horological structures.

Angelica, studying Natural Sciences at St Catharine's

Nonwithstanding her gregarious nature, Angelica reconciles her compromising position as one of society's ambiverts through habitual withdrawl from the philistinism of the social milieu, eschewing association with the hoi polloi.

Roger, studying English at Corpus

Bamboozled by the achievements of architectonics, Roger eulogises the neoclassical in the wake of its eclipse by the emerging forces of brutalism, lamenting the implacable currents of modernity from which nascent populism may emerge.

Virginia, studying Land Economy at Jesus

Organically inclined, Virginia is invariably enthralled by topiary, relishing the latent meritocratic implications relating to the scaling of shrubbery, fashioning a covert metaphoric allusion to one's ascent towards the zenith of the tree of knowledge.

Duncan, studying Architecture at Downing

Jaded and fatigued by the pervasive penchant for grandiloquence, Duncan favours the simple appeal of the puritanical ascetic over that of the much-adorned Baroque aesthetic, propounding his adoration for the functional when questioned about his forthcoming objectives in the field of civil engineering.

Dora, studying History at Homerton

Oftentimes embarking upon venturesome and temerarious journeys into the East Anglian hinterland, Dora seeks to satiate her voracity for the natural world through velocipedic disovery, in her quest to surmount the threat of altruistic erosion in the uncompassionate fulcrum of the urban metropolis.

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