What your favourite Nanna Mex filling says about you

Yes, I really tasted every single Nanna Mex filling, because I am a serious journalist!

Carnitas

Your predilection for slow-cooked pork reveals that you know that you sometimes have to wait for the best things in life and as a result you’re incredibly patient and calm. Like your favourite filling, you’re a real sweetie, definitely the sort of person who leaves notes and chocolate in their friends’ pidges and remembers people’s birthdays. Despite this, you can still be quite messy, whether that’s a room that’s an absolute pig sty, always being late, or an inability to eat burritos neatly.

Fresh chicken

You’re dependable but a little basic. You probably post pictures with your friends on Instagram with the caption “these ones”, own an unreasonable amount of college stash, end every text message you send with an “x”, and secretly enjoy Wednesday Cindies. You give the impression of only pretending to like things because they’re popular with other people (why would any genuine Mexican food enthusiast get the most boring meat) but maybe you actually just enjoy trying new things, or you like doing things because they let you spend time with your friends. And indeed, you’re a friendly person, someone others can always fall back onto for help.

Tinga

You are one spicy individual, and by that I mean angry, not attractive (although I’m sure you’re gorgeous as well). Whether you’re angry at the injustices of the world or just at your fellow gyp users who don’t. ever. do. the. bloody. washing-up, you’re always het up about something. Sometimes your righteous fury can be helpful, like when you’re marching in a Divestment march, but at other times you just need to calm down, hun. Have some tea, chill out a bit, the world won’t end.

Grass-fed Beef

What a manly man you are. You go to the gym at least twice a week and never skip leg day. You’re on every college sports team and somehow manage to go out three times a week as well with the “lads”, sinking pints until your fragile masculinity has been bolstered. You only have one photo on your Tinder profile and no bio, because you’re that confident in your abdominal muscles’ ability to pull. Quite possibly you’re Northern, but if you aren’t you’ve stopped wearing a coat on nights out and have started using words like “mardy”. Your idea of a good term is one where you get binned regularly and do as little actual work as possible, your lecturers have not seen you since week two.

Natural Chorizo

God, you’re just so crazy, aren’t you? And you tell people about it all the time. Clearly a person who’s never heard of “show, don’t tell”, not only do you wear clothes that do not match, have an asymmetrical haircut and perform in underground comedy shows, you also have a tendency to tell people you’re “a bit quirky” upon meeting them, in case they hadn’t picked up the subtle hints you were giving by carrying your brightly coloured lecture notes around in a carpet bag.

Barbacoa

Lamb is a perfumed meat and you also are fairly perfumed, constantly smelling of a cocktail of scented hand cream, lip balm and soap. This gives people the impression that you have your life together, also helped by your ownership of a massive handbag/chic rucksack from which you are constantly producing snacks, plasters, medication and rain ponchos in emergency situations.

Grass-fed Steak

You probably go to St John’s, but wherever you go now, you definitely went to private school. You’re genuinely tempted by the clothes in Ede and Ravenscroft because you already dress like a 50-year-old man and would think nothing of paying over £100 for a shirt. You’re almost certainly in CUCA, and like to quaff port declaiming “high church, hard Brexit” while guffawing with your posh chums, who all have weird nicknames or are called only by their surname. You’d be in a drinking society if you didn’t think it might harm your inevitable career as a Conservative MP.

Vegetarian

You definitely were part of your college campaign for Meat-Free Monday, and you became a vegetarian when you came to uni. You now spend most of your time complaining about how awful the vegetarian food in the buttery is. You probably study English and are an active member of a feminist poetry circle, which you claim is very empowering even though everybody in it is white and heterosexual. You want to write for The Guardian after graduating or work for a non-profit to help orphans, like you did on your gap yah.

Beans

People who just get beans in their burrito are living a deeply sad existence. You must be very weird to enjoy something so bland and you’re probably in a weird tabletop gaming society and always smell faintly of old potatoes.