REVEALED: Cambridge’s Top 10 BNOCs 2022

After a gruelling process of nominations (yes, we know that you begged your friends to nominate you) followed by an even more intense week of voting (once again, we saw your messages begging people to vote for you), the results you’ve all been waiting for are here.

Grab your popcorn, and take a look at the 10 most Biggest-Names-On-Campus in Cambridge 2022:

10. Samuel Rubinstein

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 16.4%

Image Credits: Samuel Rubinstein

Pronouns: he/him

College: Trinity

Subject: History

Year: Third

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “I have written extensively for every major student publication in Cambridge (except the Tab)”

Reaction to winning: “seppuku”

9. Ollie Mills

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 17.8%

Image Credit: Ollie Mills

Pronouns: he/him

College: Queens’

Subject: Geography

Year: Second

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “Honestly, still trying to figure this bit out…”

Reaction to winning: “Contemplate my life choices probably”

8. Abdullah Khan

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 17.9%

Image Credits: Abdullah Khan

Pronouns: he/him

College: Clare (just about, the ban has been lifted)

Subject: Architecture

Year: Third

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “Here we go again….why does this keep happening? Nominated for being vocal about (taboo) issues that affect us and being the worst student ever. (Do tutors read the tab?!) Joy Crookes looked me dead in the eyes and said [on haters] “F*ck Em”. Buy my art. Buy my novel. Come to my parties. DM me memes. Find me a husband.”

Reaction to winning: See image above

7. Lily Maguire

Percentage of Cambridge students that know her: 18.8%

Image Credits: Lily Maguire

Pronouns: she/her

College: Medwards

Subject: HisPol

Year: Second

Why she thinks she’s been nominated: “because I’m a bad bitch purr😩😩”

Reaction to winning:  💅🏼💅🏼

6. The Tit Haller

Percentage of Cambridge students that know them: 20%

Image Credit: The Tit Haller

Pronouns: Tit/Haller

College: All of them. I am everywhere and nowhere. Not Tit Hall though.

Subject: The most hard-hitting journalism since the stuff about Sue Gray’s report… remember her?

Year: ning for a better social life. (Fresher)

Why they think they’ve been nominated: “We have better journalistic standards than Varsity. And because although humour is subjective, ‘look, the Union is silly!’ will never get old. Also because you all voted for us in the hope of the founder revealing their identity. You all got played.”

5. Adnaan Ali

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 22.3%

Image credits: Adnaan Ali

Pronouns: he/him

College: Clare

Subject: MML (French and German)

Year: Second

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “I really hope it’s not because I keep calling people out in Camfess comments (honestly, if I could have a pound for everyone single time someone’s called me the Camfess guy I could probably pay for my tuition fees). But what can I say? MMLers are just known for being awesome and based as hell 😉”

Reaction to winning: “I laughed when I first got the email because I hadn’t nominated nor voted for myself, and asked people not to, so guess that didn’t pay off too well for me! But I’m really hoping that if people have had nominated me, that I’ve had a positive impact on their lives and hopefully have put a smile on their face at some point. Lots of love to the gays and the Clareites for making me think that I’m (feasibly) nice enough to be considered a BNOC! Definitely won’t be thinking about this when I’m 30 xxx”

4. James Appiah III

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 23.2%

Image Credits: James Appiah III

Pronouns: he/him

College: Pembroke

Subject: Politics

Year: Second

James preferred not to comment or speculate why he was nominated.

3. James Vitali

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 23.4%

Image Credit: James Vitali

2. David Quan (权丁文)

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 27.4%

Image Credits: David Quan

College: Clare

Subject: Education

Year: Second

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “One of my favourite speeches is Teddy Roosevelt’s ‘The Man in The Arena’ so I enjoy getting involved in things and learning from others. Nonetheless, given my unique Cambridge experiences – doing my first two terms remotely in Australia with a 10.5-hour time zone difference – this is more a testament to the kindness of those in our community!”

Reaction to winning: “My goodness: all my mistakes, embarrassments, and shortcomings will now be magnified! Luckily, it was also a genuinely helpful reminder to be grateful for everyone who has shaped my holistic experiences. You know who you are – thank you”

1. Keir Bradwell

Percentage of Cambridge students that know him: 31.5%

Image Credits: Keir Bradwell

Pronouns: he/him

College: Queens’

Subject: HisPol

Year: Third

Why he thinks he’s been nominated: “Probably my spell on the JCR.”

Reaction to winning: “I’m delighted. (See image.) (Unless I’ve come below James.) Fingers crossed the History Faculty allocate MPhil funding based on name recognition. ”

For all of you that didn’t make it this time… There’s always next year to look forward to!

Featured Image Credits: Zac Copeland-Greene and Hannah Huang