Top 10 Biggest Cambridge Icks

Cambridge is full of such a diverse range of colleges, students, and subjects, but there is no doubt that the one thing we can all agree on are these biggest Cambridge icks..

Voi Scooters

Drunk riding a Voi scooter may be a different story, which we definitely do not recommend. But actively using one to commute to lectures, or even to clubs as I’ve seen, is most definitely a big ick.

We may be in the South, but we are most definitely not in Central London, so please stick to the famous Cambridge form of transport: cycling.

Surprise, they’re not being used. (Image credit: Patrick Dolan)

College Puffers

College puffers are great, but they have to be worn according to certain rules. Firstly, as a fresher, don’t be too eager with it; especially not during Fresher’s Week! Secondly, don’t wear them outside of Cambridge; there are so many other ways to claim which uni you go to without it being an ick.

How many icks can you spot? (Image credit: Hannah Le Seelleur)

Lanyards

Don’t get me wrong, I love the turquoise of the lanyards, but wearing a uni-wide lanyard (even accompanied by a college puffer) is a major ick; most colleges are not modern enough to have CAMCard access systems for everything!

Nobody needs to know you’re approaching 500m away by the sound of your keys clanking together.

That defo isn’t my lanyard in the photo – up the Pelican bar! (Image credit: Patrick Dolan)

Self-induced Stressers

You know those people that take on way too much by choice and then decide to moan about it? I’m talking about the ones where there Google Calendar is full of an array of colours, every single day.

Being busy can be a good distraction from the weird and wonderful dynamics of Cambridge, but don’t commit to so much that you won’t even be able to schedule in a breakdown into your calendar.

It’s kinda aesthetic though (Screenshot taken from Google Calendar – Ruby Cline)

Townie Discourse

There is nothing more embarrassing than the Cambridge students who have created an immediate divide between themselves and the townies, spouting nonsense such as “I’m not going into town on Saturday because of the townies.”

There’s already a Town & Gown 10k to try to unite the two groups, so please don’t be that person to make the divide so bad it becomes a half-marathon.

Town and Gown or Town v. Gown? (Image credit: Patrick Dolan)

King’s Parade Posing

Whilst this one I am guilty of because of the need for aesthetic IG posts, religiously and seriously posing on the parade is quite an ick. Yes, King’s College Chapel is mesmerising, but Cambridge is so much more than this single street; even if your hometown friends won’t be immediately able to place whereabouts you are.

Corpuscles by the Corpus Clock (Image credit: Patrick Dolan)

Moodle

Have you ever missed a piece of work because of the complexities of the online learning environment that is Moodle? I’ve gotten lost in here more than I did during Fresher’s Week.

Why is the login button so small, why am I logged out after two minutes and why is the layout of the courses a massive ick?

For an intelligent institution, the website is not the best x (screenshot via Moodle)

Stem Student Superiority Complex

As one of my friends recently said, “we’re all at Cambridge, we all have difficult degrees”  there is no denying that some STEM students consider themselves superior to the Humanities lot.

Whilst we might not have Saturday lectures, we promise we are not wasting our time with our 10 contact hours a week.

Love the motivational finish to this rant on Camfess (screenshot via Camfess)

The Undue Reliance on Facebook

Moving to Cambridge for Uni was suddenly like going back in time. Whilst at home it was ‘I don’t use Facebook, it’s for old people’, at Cambridge this app is a necessity for keeping up to date with societies or Camfess gossip.

Surely there’s an alternative to the ick of Facebook that decides to show everyone, including your home friends, which events you’re attending and the societies you like?

Messenger gives me the ick (screenshot via Camfess)

Lectures are Louder than Lola’s

Freshers is over. You’re sat in the real life, academic environment of Cambridge, trying to compute the sophisticated vocabulary used by lecturers when all of a sudden your flow is interrupted by the ick that is aggressive Macbook typers and people with freshers flu who cough when the lecturer has just read out an important statistic.

You don’t need to start typing the moment the lecturer introduces themself.

You can practically hear this image (Image credit: Akrit Agarwal)

There you have it! How to not compromise your appearance on Crushbridge during first term with an ick.

Feature image credits: Hannah Le Seelleur, screenshot via Camfess

Related articles recommended by this author:

• What not to do in your first week
• We asked Cambridge students for Freshers’ advice
• The best things about Cambridge, according to Cambridge students