5 ways to college propose this Lent

College marriage. An institution as old as time itself.

As Lent term begins, and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, love is in the air. Instead of finding a real romantic connection, your main concern as a Cambridge student should be your college proposal.

Before we start, remember: college marriage is not a race. You’ll be raising children with this person come October, so it’s best to take your time and pick the right person.

If you’ve met that lucky someone already, harbour strong (yet exclusively platonic) feelings for them, and the cold winter months have not deterred you, it is time to make them yours. But how?

The Tab is here to provide five exciting ways to college propose this Lent term.

Apple Day Matrimony at Medwards (photo credits: Phoebe Morse)

1) Elaborate treasure hunt

Simply proposing to your college significant other in a normal, only slightly embarrassing fashion is OUT.

Hundreds of people propose like that every day. You want to do something special, something that they’re never going to forget. Ever. No matter how hard they try.

Instead of getting down on one knee, you should plan a wild and elaborate treasure hunt involving weeks of preparation. You could leave clues in their favourite (or least favourite) places around town, slowly drawing them towards your proposal location of choice.

If you start planning now, you might be able to finish the scheme by Valentine’s Day.

Post-clubbing proposal (photo credits: Chloe Coles-Smith)

2) In front of everybody you know

Unlike a real proposal, college proposals should be done in front of as many people as possible. The more people, the better.

Possible public proposal ideas: Using a megaphone on King’s Parade, asking the DJ at Revs to let you propose on the speakers, or perhaps the next time your college President gives a speech, you could journey onto the stage afterwards and make a speech of your own.

A less daring choice might be the next formal.

Edible engagement ring (photo credits: Chloe Coles-Smith)

3) In the pages of their favourite textbook

It is likely that your college soon-to-be-spouse does, in fact, attend the University of Cambridge. If that’s true, they probably like textbooks. Worse still, they probably have a favourite textbook. If you aren’t one for a public confession of undying passion (fair enough), nothing shows you care quite like remembering which critical theorist they prefer.

Why not slip them a cheeky proposal note in between the pages? Nothing screams romance like ‘Guyton and Hall Textbook of Medical Physiology 14th edition’.

You’ll have them swooning.

Romantic rap, written by the wonderful Stella Wilkinson (photo credits: Iona Gallagher)

4) Via rap

Torn between a public and a written proposal? Why not write and perform a rap, detailing the extent to which you desire their hand in marriage? I was lucky enough to witness a live rap proposal at the Murray Edwards Christmas formal, as shown above. Not only will your proposal be simply unrejectable, but you will also entertain everyone in the vicinity. A win-win.

This is especially appropriate if your beloved studies music. If music be the food of love, play on.

The camper the ring, the more successful the marriage (photo credits: Mia Glencrose)

5) In the middle of a supervision

The supervisor has asked them a question. You see the flash of panic in their eyes. They clearly don’t know the answer. It is now your duty, as a good supo partner, to save them. You get down on one knee and pop the question, sparing them from academic humiliation and attaining their unconditional affection forevermore.

And if there is more than one person in your supervision, why not propose to all of them? Why have a college spouse (singular), when you can have college spice (plural)?

If supervisions don’t work for you, other options include a dissection, a subject dinner, or even in exam conditions. Academic performance is temporary – college marriage is forever.

That’s all for now. In some ways, college marriage is more meaningful than real marriage. Whereas 50% of real marriage ends in divorce, 100% of college marriage ends in graduation. That means you’ve got to get it right.

If you have an exciting proposal story of your own, please message our Instagram and let us know – we’d love to hear from you!

Happy proposing!

Featured Image credit: Lucy Che

Related articles recommended by this author:

• UCU announces first strike for February
• Articles we nearly wrote and why we didn’t
• Cambridge Union Lent 2023 term card released