What’s the worst night out in Cardiff?

Whenever people come to visit us, they just can’t handle the Diff. But instead of narrowing it down by the best clubs, let’s narrow it down to where you shouldn’t go, picking the worst aspects of the most popular night clubs this glorious city has to offer.

Pryzm

Despite being Cardiff’s only “super club” (as it likes to call itself), the many rooms of Pryzm simply can’t live up to the legend that preceded it – 3-4-1 Fridays at Oceana. It’s so big and has so many confusing rooms it always comes with one problem. If you lose your friends, you aren’t seeing them for the rest of the night. They are GONE. FOREVER.

Or at least until the next morning.

Y Plas

Stupid fancy dress

Y Plas, aka The Lash, aka Flux, is limited to the students of Cardiff Uni and keeps Met scum away, unless someone is stupid enough to bring them as their guest. It’s home to the societies, so brims with dickheads in dress up, or in the classic blue shirt of the rugby lads and other various irritating sports teams.

But one thing can be said for Y Plas. When you’re sliding your way to the dance floor because the floor is so slippery you can dance to some epic tunes, and you can the week after, and the week after that, because they never change the playlist. Ever.

Revs

What a good looking bunch

Even though Revs makes you feel like you’re in some exclusive club sipping on expensive vodka, in reality it’s just a shitty house brand. Once the hard stuff is flowing, be careful of the lethal Revs stairs to the toilets or the upstairs bar, because they are out to get you.

Glam

We can’t move because the floor is so sticky

When you walk into Glam, there’s only one thing on anyone’s mind: “What the HELL is that smell?”

The putrid odour of Glam is enough to put anyone off, but never fear. The club can always be full with mainstream freshers and desperate people trying to hook up with anything that has a pulse.

Live Lounge

Here we see every single person in the club

It is unknown whether Live Lounge can even be counted as a club. The rock music goes on and everyone dances, but it’s so small that there can’t be any more than ten people in there at a time. Also, everyone feels double your age. As Rachel Champion, a second year studying English Language says: “Live Lounge is full of old men. I always feel like I might bump into my dad.”

Walkabout

The queues for the bars in this Aussie themed club are ridiculous. When people just want to get their Jagerbombs, it seems impossible when you see the herd stampeding the bar, and when you get there the prices are sky high, even when it’s a Thursday and all of us are out.

When you’ve finally made it to the bar, the staff are unprepared. Dylan Evans, a second year studying History says that he doesn’t like that, “Walkabout doesn’t hardly have lemons to go with my tequila.” Disgrace.

Soda

Classic Proudlock

The illusion of the Soda mirrors makes it seem like the club is bigger than it actually is. The club is  mundane and only particularly good on a Sunday, when it’s still pretty shit. It is known more for its MIC appearances rather than the actual good nights out there – no one does a Soda Friday.

Metros

Look at that lovely tissue

Despite the cheap drinks, Metros lacks the flare of your typical club. Found basically in an alleyway off one of the streets of Cardiff, it’s not central to anything.

The walls always drip with the sweat of the poor souls who venture there on a Wednesday instead of anywhere mainstream. It’s filled with people who deem themselves too alternative to go anywhere worth going on Cardiff’s student night.

Retros

It’s getting hot in here

Known for its 90’s jams, you can either love Retros or you absolutely hate it. The Disco Room in Pryzm offers sweet and unforgettable tunes such as the Spice Girls or Robbie Williams, but at least in there you can go into the Main Room to escape them when you’ve had enough, with Retros you are stuck there for eternity.

Some may say when you walk into Retros you’ve actually walked into the sun. Not one person in there will be dry. Everyone will be sweating, and it’s disgusting.

So tell us. Which do you think is the worst night club in Cardiff?

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