‘I’m uncomfortable shitting in a cold metal box’

The current refurbishment works to the Impy toilets have left many male customers unhappy as they are forced to use temporary outside loos until the works are complete.

The situation is a common one. You’re having a couple of pints with some friends at your local Spoons, when the fateful time comes and you need to break the seal.

However, frequenters of the Impy were thrown into disarray on Tuesday evening when, instead of being able to take a leak as normal, they were faced with scenes of chaos at the end of the corridor.

The chaos desperate pooers were met with.

The normal ladies’ toilets had been turned into a building site, and, in an act of chivalry which left many men confused, the male toilets had been sacrificed to the female diners instead.

‘It’s blatant sexism’, said Duncan, a second year History student and regular Impy attendee, ‘It implies girls are inferior as they can’t manage to piss outside’.

However, few girls seem offended by the act, as they were free to enjoy the plush new toilets in the warmth of the pub itself.

Ladies first.

Ellie, a second year Psychology student, said “I’m glad they’ve finally got round to doing up the loos.

Wetherspoon’s normally have really great bogs and these ones were always a bit disappointing.

This will really up my mirror-selfie game.”

The long walk to the cold metal box.

The boys, it seems, were less impressed with the current situation.

“I’m uncomfortable shitting in a cold metal box”, said one nervous pooer who wished to remain nameless.

“I hope nobody heard”.

With reconstruction work set for the next few days, it seems men across Exeter will be forced to make the long, cold walk to the tin cans outside until they too can enjoy the beautiful new bogs awaiting them.

The disabled loo or The Tardis?