Shut up Scrooge: ‘Tis the season to be jolly

The weather outside is frightful, TV adverts are once again delightful and every shop you walk into now resembles Santa’s grotto – the world is ready for Christmas, so get on board.

We may only be half way through November, but who actually gives a crap. Christmas only comes around once a year, so I’m fully intending on milking it for all it’s worth.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year and deserves to be celebrated NOW.

Christmas songs

With essay deadlines looming for everyone, the library is a bleak and boring place to be. But not for me. I’ve got Mr Bublé to help me ward off despair and depression. I’m that person cheerfully bobbing from side to side at their computer, and I’m proud.

You may be the pretentious twat who is listening to a Classic FM compilation playlist to try and help you boost your studying performance, but I have Christmas cheer. And that is far, far better.

Food

Can anyone really argue that they aren’t filled with joy at this site?

Is it acceptable to eat a discounted chocolate orange from WH Smiths by yourself? Yes, because it’s Christmas.

Is it acceptable to begin drinking at 10.30am? Yes, because it’s Christmas, and that society that you joined in September and have never actually been to since NEED you at their Christmas meal.

You may have spent all summer dieting and shaving your legs to look great in that bikini, but winter is here now, which means you can don your Christmas jumper and pile on the pounds in peace #sorrynotsorry

Christmas jumpers

#christmasjumperarmy

Christmas jumpers are warm and snuggling, like a hug you can take with you permanently. Possibly the only Nan-endorsed item of clothing in your wardrobe, why wouldn’t you want to wear them all the time?

Costa

The queue spiralling all the way down the stairs can only mean one thing- the Christmas coffees are here.

Yes I know I’m spunking my student loan on what is effectively a cup of warm milk, but it comes with glitter and cream and an actual gingerbread man, and the red festive cup looks great on my Instagram, so I don’t even care.

If the haters gonna hate could they at least do it quietly from the depths of hell so they can stop crapping all over my Christmas cheer.

TV

TV has suddenly gotten a million times better, and what do you have to thank for that? Christmas.

Adverts have become tear-jerking masterpieces worthy of posting on Facebook- when else are they anything other than an excuse to go and make a cup of tea?

And don’t even get me started on the joy I feel at festive films and the Downton Abbey Christmas special. There’s just so much good stuff you need to start now in order to get it all in before the big day.

Baby it’s cold outside

So in the words of the biggest supporters of Christmas, the Coca-Cola Company, “The holidays are coming”, so everybody had better pull the mistletoe out of their asses and get on board.