Your guide to the perfect post-lash

Let’s be honest: at the end of a night out, the sooner you get into bed and head along to snooze town, the sooner you’ll have to face the real world along with your deathly hangover.

With this sad truth in mind, regardless of what time the club closes, it’s always a good idea to gather up some mates for one of the finest Exeter traditions: the post-lash.

No one wants the night to end, but when it does…

Far superior to the after party in almost every sense, there is nothing better than the gentle winding down of a heavy night out with your mates, and it is a finely honed art.

Keep the booze flowing

too much?

Although you probably don’t want to start knocking back tequila shots at 4am, it’s definitely worth having some alcohol so as not to cut off your jung bomb-induced head rush cold turkey.

Some chilled beers are perfect for this occasion, and make sure you stock up.

If you don’t have enough and there’s nowhere to buy booze round the clock, take this as a gentle reminder that it’s always handy to have a box of beers around the house for when a hoard of drunk clubbers pile in.

Say no to drugs

Playing buckaroo on a stoned person can only be so much fun

There is a time and a place for fun with illicit substances, and a post-lash is not it.

Weed and alcohol are a notoriously disastrous combination, and if you want to have some sort of conversation at your gathering, having people whitey due to too much puff after a night on the sauce might not be the best way to go about it.

Nothing says the party’s over quite like a room full of people slumped over sofas too fucked to move.

Have fun by yourself for the next four hours

And for heaven’s sake, don’t be the bell on MD at the post-lash.

No-one will want to dance or have that really intense conversation with you, and you and your pupils will be begging people to stay just in time for them to crash and leave.

FOOD

Namely, pizza. Maybe garlic bread if you’re feeling particularly crazy.

As we well know, food brings people together, soaks up some of the booze that you knocked back at the club, and hopefully alleviates your hangover in some way the next day.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Drunk people love food, and you can save a couple of quid that you would spend on a kebab or cheesy chips at Megakebab or Raj India, chuck some frozen pizzas in the oven and have that in the comfort of your own home instead.

Alternatively, if you’re feeling particularly generous with your money, you could splash out on the greasy delight that is any drunk persons dream and order Dominos.

Music

Not entirely necessary

Everyone has that one friend who claims to have a tune or a “sick mix” for every occasion, and this is their time to shine. Let them plug their phone into a decent set of speakers and you’re sorted.

Think something chilled to keep everyone awake and that will provide decent background noise as you try to pick apart the events of the night.

Figuring out who your housemate went home with and how you managed to lose your cloakroom ticket need the perfect soundtrack after all.

Keep it small

Now, there is a difference between a post-lash and an after party, and the moment you start inviting people from the club who you vaguely know from that one seminar as well as all of their friends, it crosses the line.

While you definitely don’t just want your housemates and the guy one of them brought back making out in the corner, you also don’t want 30 people turning up and officially making it an after party.

You don’t want broken windows, a broken telly or the fuzz coming a-knocking, which are all possible consequences of having too many drunken people in your home after a night out.

With all that in mind, happy post-lashing

Who invited this guy?