Don’t you hate it when the guy you bring home wees in your make-up bag?

There was a pissing great performance after TP Wednesday this week.

It’s a love story as old as time: The poor victim, who would prefer to remain unnamed, met the lovely lad on top top, and after he wooed her, the last thing she remembers was someone shouting after him “You better satisfy her.”

He did not.

Instead, he thought he’d satisfy her make up bag with a fresh waterfall of piss at six in the morning.

She was still drunk as she screamed at the horror of watching hundreds of pounds’ worth of make up being pissed away; he drunkenly shrugged and exclaimed, “It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Wee’d be more than a bit pissed off.

The third year Australian exchange student was displeased at this apparent show of British hospitality and said, “He was well informed that he was like a dog marking his territory.”

When she saw herself in the mirror a love-bite the size and colour of a chili pepper radiated from her neck.

His only response was a curt, “Worst part is, you have no make up to cover it!”

This is not a pisstake, mystery boy wherever you are…URINE trouble, you better make up for it later. This is not the foundation of a solid relationship.

Wee should stop bladdering on about it, he might get pissed off. Besides wee’re all dried up.