Everything you need to know about (some of) the first team for cricket varsity

Cricket Varsity’s coming up tomorrow, and for a change, here’s a spin on the usual player profiles- merging the views of an anonymous EUMCC insider and the Tab.

Here are a few select individuals from tomorrow’s lineup and some ‘fun’ facts you might or might not already know about them.

Ollie Mills (Captain)

Second year, International Relations

“Leader of men, captain of hearts, EUMCC’s shining light. Fresh from scoring only the second BUCS hundred in ten years for Exeter, Ollie will be hoping to repeat last year’s Varsity success for the first time as captain.” – Team insider

“Met him in Arena a couple of weeks ago, seems like an alright bloke. ” – Not a team insider

Role: Captain, top order batsman

Favourite cricketer: Gary Ballance – constantly getting his rig out on nights out

Favourite EUMCC member: Will Jones or Andrew “Big Onj” Turner

Favourite Exeter night out: I don’t go out

Greatest achievement on a night out: I don’t go out

Ideal woman: Willet Haxby

Idol: Jack Bradbury, the next England coach

Bolt time: Trent Boult

Lid/Rig/Chat: 6 and getting worse/8/12

Alex “Capitan Morgan” Morgan

Third year, History

“A veteran of the first team, Alex now playing in his third and final varsity fixture will be hoping the wow the crowd with the most elegant cover drive in the south-west. Also rarely stops smiling. Instagram – al_morgs for how it’s done.” – Team insider

“Seems quite cheerful. Can’t be that good a Capitan if he hasn’t got a hat, though.” – Not a team insider

Role: Top order batsman, Rig Sec, moves like a snake in the field

Favourite EUMCC member: Ray Beers (RIP)

Favourite Exeter night out: Dirty Beats – Moz, I know the DJ

Greatest achievement on a night out: Had some rum, raided Tortuga (Capitan Morgan)

Ideal woman: Saskia Barnes

Idol: Tom Abell – he’s got his own name tattooed on his leg

Bolt time: Rapid mate, 3 seconds

Lid/Rig/Chat: 4 (rarely seen without a cap)/Check SSB pics/Reserved for speed dating

James Rimmer

Third year, Sports Science

“Club captain extraordinaire, James will hope this Tab exposure makes up for outrageously not winning BNOC of the year. Expect to enjoy his company in TP after the game.” – Team insider

“Knocked a mate’s chips on the floor when we were walking home from TP once.” – Not a team insider

Role: Club Captain, offspin bowler

Favourite cricketer: AB de Villiers

Favourite EUMCC member: The Silkster (Adam Silk)

Greatest achievement on a night out: Kissed a girl once

Ideal woman: The girl I met in the TP queue on Friday night that I can’t stop thinking about, hasn’t messaged me back

Idol: Linvoy Primus

Bolt time: 3.85s

Lid/Rig/Chat: 10s all round, basically the perfect man

Jonathan Burden

First year, PPE

“Opens the bowling, occasionally enjoys a strawberry and lime VK.” – Team insider

“Doesn’t enjoy a strawberry and lime VK nearly as much as is claimed above. Displays some suspect and questionable behaviour at the best of times. Notorious amongst circles of Devonian locals.” – Not a team insider

Role: Opening bowler, token fresher

Favourite cricketer: Dimitri Mascarenhas

Favourite EUMCC member: James Rimmer

Favourite Exeter night out: Friday EX4

Greatest achievement on a night out: Drunkenly walking a mile down train tracks from St James’ Park to Exeter Central, passing out on the station and getting taken home by the 5-0

Ideal woman: Any local with Tinder/Ella Nokes

Idol: Louie Spence

Bolt time: Shadowfax

Lid/Rig/Chat: A total of under 13, you can use your imagination for how it’s weighted

Ed Fleet

Second year, Business Management with Sports Science

“At heart a hockey pidge, but has slotted nicely into the EUMCC. Overrates his chat.” – Team insider

“Good colour coordination for the hat-suit combo. Lives with the AU VP for next year so that’s all you really need to know.” – Not a team insider

Role: Seam bowler

Favourite cricketer: Freddy Flintoff, hits big bombs and bowls gas much like myself

Favourite EUMCC member: Ollie Rendell – wasn’t sure it was possible to meet a bigger dodger than myself

Favourite Exeter night out: TP Wednesday

Ideal woman: Blonde with good chat, it’s all about the chat

Idol: Noah Sharples

Bolt time: Sub 8 at best

Lid/Rig/Chat: 8/6/9

Cricket Varsity takes place on Monday May 25th, at Exeter Cricket Club (opposite Rowe House) and starts at 12:00 in support of Multiple Sclerosis Society.