Why do Lancaster students do these 31 things

Lancaster students are one of a kind, all somewhat different and particular, and yet there are 31 amount of things we all do. Why? Who set these trends?

Wear Leaver’s hoodies

Next time you’re walking down the spine, have a look round. Everyone wears them. “2018 LEAVERS” just to remind you that they left Sixth Form.

Forget to check in

Its the small talk in lectures that really gets you through. A stranger has set next to you and after five minutes of college talk you share one bond: “Ah, forgot to check in”, “Same”. Jobs done.

Buy under 19 day riders

It feels wrong, and you even practice your new birth date just in case the bus driver questions you. But for a little discount, you’ve just turned 18 despite writing your dissertation.

Pretend to love ducks

Its the Lancs mascot, but don’t even lie, when they sit up staring at you whilst you scran your Gregg’s, a slight nudge with your foot is the only thing your considering.

Express their feelings through anonymous Lancfessions

Angry about something? Post it on Lancfessions. Really dislike the boy running for VP Sports? Lancfession. Pissed off about Caton Court? Lancfession. Fancy the boy on your course? Lancrush.

Remind people that it is actually, a top ten uni

Lancaster is actually a top ten uni, did you know?

Shop at the big Sainsbury’s, even though its out of budget

Brb, popping to the big Sainsbury’s just to feel something.

Complain about the music in Sugar

“God the music in Sugar is soooo shit!! How do you enjoy that!?” Spotted five hours later in Sugar, no problems.

Act like Pendle isn’t a good college

“Oh YoU’Re FrOm PeNdLe, ShIt FoR YoU” The most unproblematic college on campus, disliked for no reason really.

Pretend to love Luedms

Everyone says they love Luedms, but you never see them there.

Shout college chants but only in Fresher’s week

Screamed by Bowland on the Sugarbus “You can’t spell County without cunt!!”. As a Fresher, the rivalry seems exciting. By week two, nobody really cares what college your from, they just want to work out how long it will take them to walk to your house for pres.

Mispronounce Ketchap

Ket-cap? Ket-chap?

Hate ILancaster

Not recommended by Lancs students, ever.

Have a deep fear of locals

“Shall we tell next door we’re having pres tonight?” “Nah, terrified”

Walk at two mph on the Spine

For such a sporty uni, nobody walks fast enough on that Spine.

Say they love DJ Wez

Lancs students insist on DJ Wez being a local legend which they love and adore, but its just for the freebies, stop lying.

Hold an endless hope that they will find the love of their life here

Even in third year, there’s a chance that the love of their life will be just around the corner. Unlikely, but the hope is admirable.

Choose to live in Bowerham

Of all the places you could choose to live, Lancs students love Bowerham. Quiet, in the middle of town and uni. Most of your friends probably live there, but they have to leave at least forty minutes before a lecture to make it on time.

And, Bowerham students force their friends to get the 100

Bowerham residents have to get the 100, and they will force their non-Bowerham friends to divert their route for company. Is it worth it?

Order ASDA deliveries that they really can’t afford

The van rolls up outside the townhouses and five minutes later you will spot at least four first years lugging a delivery that could feed a family of six. They’re worse off financially but they keep doing it.

Maintain a rumbling hatred towards anyone from UCUM

On the rare occasion a UCUM student is found in the Sugar smoking area, everyone knows about it. “How did you get in here?” They will be asked at least once by anyone who talks to them. “Is UCUM as bad as it looks?” follows.

Call the Sugarbus driver a “Twat” when he doesn’t let you on

He’s let all your mates on and just as you step on, he tells you to get off, shuts the door and zooms to Sugar. The once local legend has been demoted to twat status for one-night only.

Constantly mispronounce Juicafe

Juice-cafe? Jui-cafe? Juicaf-e?

Pretend colleges matter

You’ve got new course mates because of a group project, “What college you in?” “Lonsdale” “Ew.” Its the small talk we all rely on, but actually have no feelings towards.

Constantly refresh Lancrush when you’re drunk and sad

Its the end of the night, for some reason you didn’t get the validation you needed in Sugar, so you’re scrowling Lancrush in hope your initials pop up. Please, someone fancy me.

Treat Sultans as the Holy Grail

Don’t disrespect Sultans. Sultans is God. Liking Sultans gets me a free pass to Heaven. You don’t like Sultans? Have fun burning in the flames of hell.

Act like they are ready to take on York at any given time

Roses are white this year, but just you wait York!! We’re ready!! So ready for Roses!!

Complain about Lancs not being a Russell group

“It’s a top ten uni, so it should be really. Like, its basically a Russell group.”

Roses, Roses, ROSES

Are you going Roses? Are you on Roses squad? You gonna watch my game at Roses? Roses will be red this year.

Act left-wing

“For the many, not the few” on Facebook, but god forbid I ask for a mixer at pres.

Pretend they don’t read the Tab

Got ya.