ATB In Good Form Shocker

In an unexpected turn of events ATB, a team rocked by off-season controversies such as star striker Adam Sawko breaking his jaw, have kicked off the season in style.

Our first match was against ‘AC Alittlesilhouettoofaman’. This team name was so embarrassingly awful it motivated us onto a 2-0 victory. Both goals came from Polish no.9 Adam Sawko who managed to dispel the ‘bad boy’ image that had started to take hold. His first goal he made himself by stealing the ball from a hesitant defender and the second came from a superb long pass from your reporter in goal.

G, ATB’s answer to David Beckham

In defence both Atherton and Sam ‘the rock’ Butler were superb and ensured their gangly goalie was only forced into making three (rather spectacular) saves. In midfield Ewan ‘Duracell Bunny’ Powell was as tireless as ever while the Boss was solid if not spectacular. G made his first return from his career-threatening lung puncture which elicited a standing ovation from our multitude of fans. In all the Boys were delighted with our first game of the season which filled us with confidence for the season ahead.

Our second game was a completely different challenge. They had probably the best name we’ve ever come across – Tekker Slovakia – and we were missing half of our defensive duo as Atherton saw fit to go gallivanting around Nottingham rather than play for ATB. Even worse was the news that the Boss would be late due to difficulties travelling from war-torn Toxteth.

Atherton galavanting around Nottingham

Fortunately though, the Boss managed to persuade ‘Old Man’ Obi to come out of retirement for the game adding a creative edge that had been lacking previously. The game was played in terrible conditions with rain and strong winds turning the Wyncote astro-turf into an ice-rink which may have explained why Sawko and the Old Man found it difficult to convert their chances. Overall it’s fair to say ATB edged the game but our lack of finishing meant the game finished 0-0.

2 clean sheets and an assist for this handsome chap

It wasn’t totally one sided though – we required a solid performance in defence from G, Ewan ‘ALL DAY SON, ALL DAY’ Powell, and Sam ‘impenetrable’ Butler with G showing he’s on his way back to his best. When Maticevic arrived his tenacious performance inspired the team to improve their game, again proving why he is ‘the Boss’.

Overall the Boys can be delighted with our start, especially considering our total lack of pre-season training. Moreover former villainous traitor, Jonny ‘actually a really nice guy’ Brown is rumoured to be returning to the ATB fold – the big name signing that the ATB fan-base have been calling for and one that will add another attacking option to our game.

Like The Tab on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.