You’re lying if you say you don’t want to live in town

It’s time we all admit that Smithdown isn’t all that great.

It’s substandard, dangerous, and a long, sweaty, expensive bus ride away.

Why would you willingly spend £75ppw on an average six bed house with one bathroom, to then have to buy an annual Arriva bus pass? You could have saved all that precious moolar on a pretty sick crib in town, and spent that crippling bus pass fee on printing.

If its the thrill of danger you seek by deciding to live in Smithdown, fair enough.

But lets not forget the stabbing that took place off Wellington Road just last month, or the bomb hoax on a bus going down Smithdown Road. Remember the robbery at Shell, or the girl who was threatened outside Tesco? Yes, all these crimes took place across just 12 days.

Queue for the 699? That’s not me

Many students argue that living in Smithdown saves a butt load of cash in the long run, but we all know how ridiculously flawed this logic is. Living off your maintenance loan is already a struggle without having to factor in the extortionate £224 for a nine month bus pass just to stand on the 699 to get from Kenmare Road to the SJ. In town however, we don’t have to worry about burning an Anfield sized whole in our back pockets. Besides saving a bucket load of cash on buses, being able to get everywhere on foot has other perks. We all have super toned legs.

Adding to this mounting debt are your taxi fares. Every time you go out if you’re not waiting for the last 699 to town, getting a taxi is your only port of call. And we all know what a rigmarole that is. Yeah, taxis in Liverpool are the cheapest thing since Font cocktails (also in town) you might say, but living in town eliminates having to spend money on them altogether. Why? Because Concert Square is but a stones throw away, and once you’re in town no one in their right mind would willingly taxi to Smithdown. You thought living in the suburbs of Liverpool would be cheaper than a shot at Cava, but like forgetting to bring your student card with you to Garlands on a Saturday, you’ve been duped into paying more.

What is more, by the time the Smithdown massive have tracked down a taxi, herded each other out the front door and spent precious drinking time working out how to split the fare, we’ve already had pres, been to Faculty and beat the queues of Juicy.  Chances are we’re already on our second round.

All the money you thought you save on your rent, is actually made up in bus pass costs.“Ah” you say “The cost of rent in town is ridiculous”.  No, rent in town isn’t as expensive as your ignorant minds think. You can find mould riddled houses in town too. Private student accommodation is a rose amongst thorns. If you’re desperate for cheap, standard student living you can definitely find it in town.  There are plenty of grimey houses in the Georgian Quarter and you don’t even have to look hard. Don’t be fooled by the quaint townhouse exterior, we have boiler issues and infestation problems too. If it’s damp double bedrooms and mouldy kitchens you’re looking for – town’s got you covered.

We may not have Sefton Park, but when uni gets too much we can easily have a gander round the docks or the cathedrals. You might say Smithdown is home to the real student experience, but we have the city at our dog poo free doorstep. Who’s the real winner?