Group work is the worst thing you’ll experience at uni

It’s the morning of your deadline and no one has done the powerpoint. 

Nobody is a winner when it comes to a group project. Inevitably, no one ever pulls their weight – so you either become the slacker that everyone slags off, or worse, the bitchy boss who invests way too much time and emotion into the whole thing. Harry hun, the presentation is only worth 15%, relax.

How you feel when you do all the work

It all starts when your tutor assigns your group. Obviously you’re never ever put with your friends, so working out who these people are is a soul-destroying task in itself. You thought Alice dropped out in first year?  Who’s Conor? Lizzie is definitely that one who was wearing the nice Zara jacket in your lecture last week.  Or wait, is she that really irritating Welsh one with the high pitched voice?

While you’re still trying to figure out the basics, some overly eager member is already five steps ahead. They’ve found you on Facebook, added you to a group chat called ‘presentation squad’ and they’re already debating whether Comic Sans or Times New Roman would look best on the handout.

In these early stages, this enthusiasm comes as a sort of relief. “At least someone’s got their shit together” you think to yourself. But as the excessive notifications start rolling in and someone suggests meeting on a Saturday night in some unknown, far-flung corner of south campus, you’re reminded why you’ve spent the last two years avoiding every single one of these people.

Group work got me like…

But undoubtedly, the whole experience of group work is made even worse if you actually care about your grade. As graduation gets closer,  you can’t afford to scrape by with another 40%. The cousin you never liked has just got a first from Durham and you promised your parents you’d go out less this year. So why is it that you’ve been put in a group with absolute morons?

You juggle your time between waiting for someone to reply to your WhatsApp messages and doing the majority of everybody else’s work. Why are simple tasks so hard for Beth to grasp?  Why doesn’t she know what a slideshow is? How did she even get into Liverpool?

Life

But just when you think there’s light and a 2:1 at the end of the tunnel, someone decides they “can’t make it” to the group meeting because they’re ill (although you saw them slut dropping in LEVEL last night) and another conveniently “forgets” their USB for the third time this week.

Group work is the biggest test of mental strength, character and perseverance. And although it’s 100% not encouraged and you should avoid it all costs, if you ever find yourself in one of these hopeless situations then all anyone can say is good luck. Because you’ll need it.