We need to talk about your fave Liverpool club’s video content

Remember fresher’s week when you found the whole idea of Concert Square overwhelming and thought it might be okay to go the Raz on any night but a Monday?  Just how is it that we learnt where to go and where to avoid? Maybe it was mostly from Ryan your housemate in first year who had mates in second year and always promised Med was a sick night.

But what if you didn’t have a Ryan? Maybe you tried looking up the various club names on Facebook to suss it out. Well we decided to go through this process and truth to be told, it’s really quite an eye opening experience.

McCooley’s

Our main question here is WHERE did they get the budget to achieve these high angle shots, was there a helicopter or a drone? Who is funding this and why? So many questions and so little answers. The flashy projections and are all to market a new lager and it’s all a bit over the top and not representative of the actual McCooley’s experience, nonetheless, we admire the effort involved and we all have a special place in our hearts for McCooley’s, even if it is as the place you go before you go somewhere else.

CAVA

Simple, effective and gets the job done. There’s no flashy projections or gimmicky tricks from Cava here, this boomerang is as easy to understand their £1 for a shot deal. It also feels a bit head spinny, much like the after effects of six shots of jelly bean flavoured tequila.

Black Rabbit

This seems like the activity of a pyromaniac bartender who probably shouldn’t have access to fire of any kind. A desperate cry for attention from a mediocre bar and to be honest we can’t help but feel this would be quite annoying if you want to get in, do a shot, and get out of Black Rabbit. This is simple, but for all the wrong reasons, we’re not sure what they’re trying to promote and this just seems like a stressful experience all round.

Chibuku

Despite paying £13.50 for a ticket, no one in that big sweaty mess of a crowd remembers Chibuku the next day so it’s hard to assess how much this actually represents the event in reality. The overuse of triangles is a bit annoying, but we do admire the kind of horror film style of editing in the opening and appreciate the effectiveness of the slow mo hands in air shots. Well done Chibuku.

Quid’s In

This mash up of That’s Not Me and Intoxicated is very irritating and not something you’d hear at Quids In. The camera man rarely strays from his desired demographic – fit girls having fun – and when he does, he seems to capture guys looking awkward at the bar. It’s a bit long and a bit predictable, but we’ve taken Quids In under our wings as a Thursday night staple so we will respect it all the same.

Pop World

This really does get off to a strong start, maybe they borrowed the helicopter from McCooley’s to get some impressive overhead shots of Liverpool. However, as we kick in to the bar staff blowing up balloons, which looks like it was filmed on a Motorola Razr, we are more in line with what we were expecting from Pop World. The song has European holiday camp vibes and then you realise it’s an instrumental version of Vengaboys and then you feel ashamed for knowing that. The bar staff are actually looking as if they’re having a better time than the customers which begs the question, is it worse to work in Pop World on New Year’s Eve or actually be in Pop World on New Year’s Eve?

Krazyhouse

You know in year nine when 90% of your education was making PowerPoint presentations and there was that one guy who just knew how to do all the cool animations and shit, well he’s making promo videos for Krazyhouse now. We have no idea who anyone is in any of these pictures, apart from David Bowie at the end, who is surely out of place. If you didn’t want to go to Krazyhouse before, you probably still won’t want to.

Abandon Silence

Such. High. Production. Values. However, what is with the music? That is at the very best lift music in a grubby but modern office block. It does a good job of selling Invisible Wind Factory.

Brooklyn Mixer

Facebook live videos are a strange phenomenon, often started by accident or used by really annoying people at gigs who think their whole friends list NEEDS to experience Lauren Lo Sung at Circus right at this very moment. That being said, this is slightly exceptional. This lady has a saxophone and she’s not afraid to use it. We only fear that she had a tough and somewhat unappreciative crowd. Really, the video could’ve stopped about three minutes in- that big bit after “SAVE ME” is what people care about most.

Masq

This is wild, and really quite a scary start. Where did they film that? It looks like an advert for another Purge film. It is genuinely really unsettling and has literally no relevance to the night. The reality of Masq is they will run out of masks before you get there and excessively play Renegade Master while overcharging you for water.

Honourable mention: Bumper

The legendary spot formerly known as Bumper, more recently as Legion of the Lost Souls, has really outdone themselves. They have got it all, Storm Troopers making cocktails? Check.

Questionable use of Facebook Live? Check.

Graphics straight out of a year nine powerpoint? Excessive use of animations? Glow paint? Check, check and check again.