I don’t have any lecture friends and I love it

When you start university you’re encouraged to make as many friends as you can, talk to as many people as possible. Socialise, network, expand your horizons. But seriously, who the hell needs that in the middle of a lecture?

People get rightly pissed off when other students are talking loudly or phones are going off or if anything is generally being distracting in lectures. You shoot them evils and tut loudly while the lecturer desperately tries to raise their feeble voice above the rising din. But what makes that infinitely more annoying is when it’s your  own friends doing the distracting.

Sat with all of her friends

Honestly, who needs lecture friends? Organising whether you’re going to arrive at the CTH together, struggling to find them when you walk in with 30 seconds to spare before the lecture starts, packing yourself into a tiny row, shoulder to shoulder, forcing all the perplexed foreign students to shove up one seat for you or your pal to fit in. You don’t need that in your life.

Friends are just a liability. You get a text from Molly “soz hun, skipping today! Majorly hanging!” and suddenly the thought creeps into your head…”if she’s not going, I’m not going either.” Friends are enablers, distractions, the root of all academic evil. They chatter in your ear while you strain to hear the lecturer talking about monopolistic equilibrium and get pissy when you don’t reply – only for you to get called out by the frustrated lecturer when you hiss at them to shut up.

Lots of space for note taking with no friends around

They’re the people who tell you they did no revision for the mid-term and get a first. They’re the people who talk loudly after an exam about how well they thought it went. They’re the people who tell you what page to look at in the book when you ask for help rather than just sending a picture of their work. They’re the people who discuss their pre-drinks and Level plans for all the theatre to hear.

Fair, they can come in handy sometimes. When you’re faced with a group project and you don’t know anybody it can get a bit awkward finding a group. And sure they make you look a little more popular. But at the end of the day, surely you’d rather be that brooding loner who turns up on time, sits on your own row and leaves swiftly without a word to anyone once the lecturer dismisses you?

A sea of faces, none of them my friends

Own your solitude. You have plenty of friends. You live with them, you’re in societies with them, you have group chats with them. Or maybe, like me, you’re just sad you changed course and have no lecture friends left.